admiring...

thwarted by the rain, i've spent all day inside working on paintings and thinking about the artist statement re-write i need to do... again. the great/horrible thing about artist statements is that they're never really done. as the work grows and changes, so does the statement which means i am constantly sitting in the editor's chair with a big red pen. it's not so bad when i get to edit the work of others but editing my own work is ridiculously hard and aggravating. but it's like that for everybody, i suppose, so no tears here.

however, being trapped inside by the weather, i came across a new painter to admire. i was actually trying to track down the work of a fellow CCA alum (to no avail) and stumbled across the online portfolio of artist Samantha Scherer. how gorgeous is this!







i am so stunned and jealous! hubba hubba hubba! i absolutely love her work! ALL OF IT! and i count myself lucky to have found her site. god bless the internet! and while we're on the topic of artist statements... Samantha's is awesome! work that calls upon her infatuation with shows like Law & Order and CSI.. come on! this girl is after my own heart here! love, love ,love! i'm gonna ask for one of her little watercolors for christmas.

coffee tragedy...

so...
the WORST thing that could've happened to this night-owl did...
my coffee maker broke. :( and after screwing with it, hitting it, and pushing all its non-specific buttons in a wide array of sequences, the damn thing finally pushed my buttons to the point where i angrily resigned myself to utter failure.

the truth is,
i bought one of the cheapest coffee makers i could find but that was only 4 months ago! arg! so i finally boiled a pot of water and dumped it through the filter and wa-la! i'm drinking coffee and back in action! necessity... the mother of invention: word. i just wish i'd thought of it sooner and saved myself a whole lot of time and aggravation.

but with a full pot brewed (by hand) and a bag full of new art supplies (i went shopping today!), the night feels young and full of potential. i finally scored some more chocolate-colored glitter so i can finish the print edition i started a few weeks back. i've been so caught up in painting and drawing that i completely forgot about the prints! and with only a few more to go!

between that and the big yellow painting (which isn't really all that yellow anymore) and the 4 other canvasses i've got going, this week is pretty well booked. i'll happily give in to the urge to stay up all night painting and playing, lose sleep if necessary, and get a bunch of work done. i don't want any loose ends to tie up, with paintings or otherwise, come the new year and, with only 8 weeks to go, i'd better hustle.

ZINES ARE WONDERFUL! HOORAY FOR ZINES!

one of the zines i got in the mail last week is EVERYBODY'S BOOK OF KITTENS by Gemma Correll. this zine wins the gold medal for squeal-out-loud cuteness! EEEEEE! it is so adorable!


the concept behind the zine is pretty simple, very straightforward, and that's one of the reasons it is so successful and great! i love it! it has quickly become the most prized zine in my collection. it's awesome.

if this is work after your own heart as well, i'd pick up a copy fast. it's an edition of 50 and the first round of them sold out with a quickness over at Little Paper Planes. It seems they've got a second round in stock now but i'd still make haste if you'd like to have one of these little cuties in your collection.

i also got 'daddy's little girl' by Ericka Bailie Byrne, a collection of letters she wrote to her father while they were estranged.


it's a very personal, very powerful zine. reading it, i couldn't help but be awe-struck by the bravery it took to even put this zine out in to the world! i am amazed by it, to say the least. this zine offers more than just the story of a girl's strained relationship with her father... it offers hope and comfort. Ericka's got an etsy shop where you can pick it up: FIRST AND FRANKLIN.

the wonderful thing about zines is that they can be (and be ABOUT) anything... which also makes them sort of daunting: no rules, schematic, or prototype to follow. the form is wide open and can be endlessly reinterpreted. zines can be used toward any end, or to no end at all. this makes the production of a zine a pretty personal enterprise, in my opinion, even if the subject matter isn't personal at all.

and i just love zines so much! i have turned in to a total fanatic about them and i don't care who knows it. i think everyone needs to get on board and support the zine-makers of the world. zines are wonderful. i hope the people who make them never stop doing it. i appreciate their work so, so much.

lazy days and scary movies...

after building and stretching some fairly large canvasses the other night with my sweetheart, i ended up needing (and taking) a bit of a break from the whole art thing in general. it's been pretty nice, actually. my new zines came in the mail a few days ago so i've been re-reading them every few hours for the passed three days (fun!), and have been forcing myself to watch scary movies (i have no tolerance for them at all and am trying, slowly, to get over that). and i think i'll spend the rest of the day today doing more of the same and have one more day off from production and introspection. sometimes it is completely necessary for me to take a big step back from the work. the ideas i generally deal with aren't exactly happy and fun and getting so wrapped up in them can become pretty exhausting... not to mention, sad. it's just a good idea to get back to playing with my dog, being outside, and talking to friends... remembering the small pleasures in life. and so i'm indulging those desires and smiling about it the entire time. :) hope everyone had a great weekend and that the new week is off to a great start! being that we're so close to Halloween now, there are a ton of scary movies on TV... check 'em out! or recommend a few of your favorites to me so i can be less of a baby about them. even the most silly, unbelievable bad B-grade horror flicks scare the pants of me.

old loves and new thanks...

hi everybody! first off, i just want to send out a big ol' THANK YOU to everyone who's been reading the blog lately and commenting on the work. i really, really appreciate the fact that you've taken time out of your day to let me know what your thoughts are. it's extremely helpful to know what people respond to, what turns them off, and what might just make them smile. i am grateful and smiling and totally giddy. thank you so much!

so today i've been working on some small pieces, just sorta playing around and seeing what happens. sometimes it's a wonderful thing to just work as fast as you can and without a lot of thought - it short-circuits the self-censoring mechanism and you end up doing things you normally wouldn't, acting upon ideas you'd talk yourself out of, and the resulting images are evidence of learning in action. it's great! here's some small pieces from my art adventure:




Blackland #4
7" x 7"
mixed media collage on paper
2008



untitled personal indictment
6 3/4" x 5 1/4"
mixed media collage on paper
2008


obviously, my default aesthetics kicked in on these (my beloved black and white!), but i also picked up my old love of texture and disparate materials and just rolled with it: black masking tape, film negative (that's what makes them shiny), scraps of paper and a love of abstraction. it was fun and i really enjoy seeing that, though i was working quickly and not really concerned with what the results were, the primary ideas i've been dealing with are in this work as well. pretty ingrained, i guess! :) and that's a good thing!

Page 28 (Blackland 2)

15" x 11"
ink on paper
2008


i don't know what took me so long to get around to the idea of drawing my very own book pages but i'm sure glad i finally did. i guess i had been sort of turned off by the idea of my own hand writing being present in the work. thankfully, i got over that weird little hang up and here she is... Page 28 (named after my age). the text reads "black as her ribbons" and i leave it to you to interpret that fragment in whatever way pleases you best.

(click on image for larger view)

collection...

last night before bed, i spread out a small collection of drawings and paintings i've done over the passed few weeks and was really pleased with what i saw-
there is such a solid direction and cohesiveness to this work that i guess i was entirely unaware of until seeing a few grouped together.



protect
24" x 17 3/4"
oil on canvas
2008

my investigation of the need for protection and the pleasure of safety are leading me to see the new poetry that is born inside trauma and fragmentation... the loss we tolerate when we put up fences and wondering where i can find the space to build a site of hope within all this obsessive seperation and fear...




untitled haven
9 3/4" x 6 1/4"
mixed media collage
2008

of course, we need fences but when do we stop building them? where is the guideline that we can turn to and say, "oops! one too many, let's take that last one down. we've lost too much."




all my cages were empty
5" x 5"
ink on torn book page
2008

sometimes the desire for protection doesn't rise from a healthy place. in the case of the edited document, it's a need for protection from embarrassment and an unwanted, damaging exposure. it hides information angrily... maliciously... a sign of the corruption of the one who wields the big black marker.




Anonymous Girls study
7 1/2" x 5 1/2"
ink on paper
2008

but i'm trying to find beauty anyway... these delicate phrases that remain in spite of the obliteration i've done to them.




dust flower
8 1/4" x 5 1/4"
acrylic on book page
2008

how gorgeous is the fragmented phrase "a dust flower". stunning. poetic. destruction and loss turned against itself.




the penalty (detail)
13" x 10"
mixed media collage
2008

i feel like i'm on the right track.

the allure of books...

so...
i've been making these book pages every so often when i'm in the mood to paint or draw but don't want to start another big project. i've got too many going as it is. it's really just a way to indulge my romantic fascination with books and book-making and zines (i'm expecting a few more of those little sweeties in the mail this week! YAY!). hopefully, i'll one day end up in a place or mindset when i can really utilize this fascination toward my own aims but right now it's purely for fun and i have no clue what i'll end up doing with them. i'm happy to just watch the portfolio i've got them in get fatter and fatter. here's a few of my favorites:








they're all done on tracing paper that has been folded in half and then glued together. i liked being able to use the transparency of the paper to my advantage and work from every side of the paper, allowing marks made on the back to show through to the surface. gluing them together is what gives them this wrinkled, aged look that i really enjoy. the last one is yet another study for "witch of the bayou". i am such a nerd! :)

but you know, art for art's sake is always a good thing. i've got no real expectations other than using these pieces as a way to explore ideas and learn more about what books can be. so many of my favorite artists are print-makers and book-makers - kiki smith and anselm kiefer to name just two. i think there's such an enormous value in working within this format and i guess i'm currently exploring its limits and potentials. plus, i am completely in love with making little keepsakes and small, precious one-of-a-kind things.

artist books are awesome and one day i'll have enough of these pages to create my own. it seems natural given my complete love for the written word, text-based art, and the influence writers have had on my art practice in general.

anonymous girls....

Anonymous Girls #3
22" x 15"
ink on paper
2008

this has been a secret series of mine for about a year and a half now. only a few people have seen this work... until now! the gallery took this piece for the november show and i am so excited about it! it's work that people seem to feel pretty strongly about- they either completely love it or hate it more than any thing else. :) which i get a really big kick out of! when i first started this series, i was sort of just doing it to keep my hands busy and quickly ended up having a huge stack of little 8" x 10" ink drawings of girl heads. at the time, i had been really invested in the untitled sisters paintings... portraits of girls cropped at the neck (headless), and a classmate of mine made the statement that maybe this was where all their faces went. i really enjoyed his outlook and decided i'd let these drawings happen as they needed to and to not force them in any particular direction.


Anonymous Girls #4
11" x 7 1/2"
ink on paper
2008

it's been nice to have a low-pressure/secret project that grows and changes at it's own rate. i have so many that still need to be photographed. hopefully, we'll have a few more days of beautiful and bright weather... i've got an amazingly large (and constantly growing) pile of artwork that needs to be documented. i get so wrapped up in new work that i keep forgetting to take pictures! now that this project is no longer so secret... i'm anxious about what kind of reception this work will get next month during the exhibition... documentation will become quite important.

anyway...
any one else see the similarity between this work and the "black apples" series? a pretty nice partnership, i'd say! i really like seeing these pieces together... maybe i should make a zine of my own? definitely something to think about.


black apples (2)
15" x 11"
ink on paper
2008

been on my mind...

hi everybody! sorry its been a few days since my last post but i was having too much fun hanging out with my mom, drinking coffee, and showing her around San Francisco. we had a blast! i also dropped off the work for Who's the fairest of Them All? at HANG and am so excited about my inclusion in this show. showing alongside artists Cheslyn Amato, Taraneh Hemami, Katie Lewis, KC Rosenberg, Hanna von Goeler, Adrianne Watson, Jan Wattenjan, and Kelli Yon is quite an honor. i'm anxious to see all our work in one place together.

i've been thinking a lot about politics the last few days. maybe because my mother was in town, maybe because my grandfather suffered a massive heart-attack monday, maybe because my sister is a single mother and doing an awesome job raising my nephew (while preparing to graduate from college in june)... whatever the reason, the fact remains that women's issues are very important to me and have been the heart of much of the work i've done. the timing of this show is pretty great, opening a few days before the polls do, and giving me the opportunity to voice some of my own concerns about the upcoming election.

i received the following email a few days ago, forwarded me to me by a friend and it speaks to many of the concerns i've had about the inclusion of Sarah Palin on the republican ticket:



The National Organization for Women has endorsed the Obamba-Biden ticket for just the reasons listed below. They usually do not endorse, but in this case believed it was absolutely necessary to take a stand. If you agree, please pass this on.


Subject: Women and Sarah Palin


Friends,


We are writing to you because of the fury and dread we have felt since the announcement of Sarah Palin as the Vice-Presidential candidate for the Republican Party. We believe that this terrible decision has surpassed mere partisanship, and that it is a dangerous farce on the part of a pandering and rudderless Presidential candidate that has a real possibility of becoming fact.

Perhaps like us, as American women, you share the fear of what Ms. Palin and her professed beliefs and proven record could lead to for ourselves and for our present or future daughters. To date, she is against sex education, birth control, the pro-choice platform, environmental protection, alternative energy development, freedom of speech, gun control, the separation of church and state, and polar bears. To say nothing of her complete lack of real preparation to become the second-(and possibly first)-most-powerful person on the planet.


We want to clarify that we are not against Sarah Palin as a woman, a mother, or, for that matter, a parent of a pregnant teenager, but solely as a rash, incompetent, and altogether devastating choice for Vice President. Ms. Palin's political views are in every way a slap in the face to the accomplishments that our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers so fiercely fought for, and from which we've so demonstrably benefited.


First and foremost, Ms. Palin does not represent us. She does not demonstrate or uphold our interests as American women. It is presumed that the inclusion of a woman on the Republican ticket could win over women voters. We want to disagree, publicly.


If you agree that Palin is an irresponsible, even dangerous, choice for VP, please consider participating in this drive. Gentlemen, send this to the women you know and care for. I know it's tough to understand the way this choice is impacting women, but I have never seen so many women so outraged, angry and distraught in my entire life. We'd like our voices heard. If you agree, PLEASE FORWARD WIDELY! If you send this to 20 women in the next hour, you could be blessed with a country that takes your concerns seriously. Stranger things have happened.

i am not trying to add to the divide that exists within the American populace at this point, but rather i want to extend my concerns, as a woman AND as an artist, to those who might still be confused or conflicted. i also wanted to use this space to speak to those who, although they have made up their minds to vote for McCain, have the capacity to consider the other side of the debate and recognize the danger this poses to half of our nation's citizens. women's rights and issues need to be taken seriously. our bodies should not be cages. currently, i am happy to live in a country that respects this outlook and i want to protect this ideology. i am engaged to a man who feels just as offended as i do. he wants women to be treated as equals, to be respected as such, and is as adamant as i am that a woman's body is her own.

if you agree with the statements of the above email, please feel free to cut and paste it and send it to anyone you think might have even left the smallest window open for this discussion. if not for me, if not for yourself or your sister or your daughter, then for your grandmother. please do not forget the struggle and suffering SHE went through to give you freedoms that she did not have. remember the suffragettes... they are the people who fought for us to have the right to vote.

pretty...

i've posted a few new things at little black fences, one of them being the big redoute rose painting, as well as a few smaller works like this one:



it's my very first ACEO (Artist Card, Edition, Original)! i only recently learned about Art Trading Cards and thought it's such a sweet and wonderful idea... especially since it was just a few weeks ago that i did the art trade. i was so pleased to find out there's an entire culture surrounding trading artwork. in order to be an artist trading card, there is one stipulation that must be followed: it must be the size of an actual trading card (3 1/2" x 2 1/2")... alot harder than it sounds!

the garden of weeds image is one that i've been working with for about two years now but is so different from my regular subject matter that i've not shown the work very often. i think they are so lovely though and the image was perfect for this art form. keep your eyes peeled for more of these little sweeties over the course of the next few weeks! and...


untitled (garden of weeds)
7 5/8" x 5 5/8"
mixed media on paper
2008


while i was laying in bed last night, waiting to get sleepy, i did this little painting. i'm going to post it in the shop tomorrow. i'll be posting alot of work over there as we get closer and closer to the holidays so check in often.

hope everyone's week is of to a great start! angela

good news and more good news!

YAY! GOOD NEWS! my mom decided to take a spur of the moment trip up to visit me. she'll be here tuesday and i can't wait. we've already set up plans to make some work for The Paper Doll Project and i am so excited about that! it's been great to see how differently people approach making them and i love what she's come up with in the past.

aside from cutting paper dolls, we'll mostly likely spend the entire time she's here drinking tons of coffee and talking about everything under the sun. my step dad teases us that there are enough words in the english language to warrant such marathon conversations. :) it's nice and i'm glad she's coming up. i'll most likely not get any painting done while she's here but i'm more than ok with that. it's good to have family around.

AND MORE GOOD NEWS! i'll be in a show next month at HANG entitled "The Fairest of Them All: Women Artists Considering Social Justice in the Everyday"
Nov 1- November 21, 2008

here's the press release:

"At the beginning of the day she doesn't say in some romantic heroine yell "today I will fight all the injustices of the world!", but as the coffee settles and the many tasks of the day are brought into motion there are moments when indeed she'll look and say "hey that just isn't fair!" and someone needs to say so.

Artist, KC Rosenberg and Hang Art Director DJ Harmon join curatorial forces in an exhibition entitled Who's The Fairest of Them All on view at Hang Art Annex in San Francisco. Featured in this group show are women artists who consider social justice in the everyday. In the real world there are no magic mirrors to help illuminate what cannot be seen. Instead, women trial lawyers, women artists and women activists help give a voice to those who have remained silent and assist those who have been powerless. This exhibition sheds light upon that which has remained in darkness and was spurred on by the San Francisco Trial Lawyers Association (SFTLA) and funded by the SFTLA Women's Caucus."

there will be two receptions for this show. the first is of course the big first thursday art ruckus in san francisco and the second is wednesday november 12th, put on by the SFTLA. i'd love to see everyone at both but if you can only make it to one, that'd be wonderful! i'll be dropping off the work to the gallery this week and i'll definitely give a preview of what you can expect to see a bit closer to the opening. for now i just wanted to share my good news and extend an early invite. :)

yellow

brewing a second pot of coffee and listening to patti smith, i'm on a painting rampage today. i started a big, yellow oil painting a few days ago and, unexpectedly, letting a bit of color back in to the work has made me go gaga for the process of painting again. i love that! one small change and the reason i fell in love with painting in the first place is reawakened and i'm a frenzy in the studio. i feel more driven and dedicated than i have in weeks. maybe this change has been waiting to happen longer than i realise? at any rate, it feels great and i'm happy to be working in this manner again: my long-loved realism.

getting girly with Redoute and Lynne Leegte...

giving in to my girly side more and more these days and having a ton of fun doing so...



untitled (redoute study)
30" x 22"
graphite, gouache, and acrylic on paper
2008


i've always loved the print work of Redoute and this piece was done very much as an homage. i love his work (especially the roses suite) and just wanted to honor him as an influence. besides, doing this kind of work every now and then is a welcome vacation from the ideas i'm normally involved in. it's good to take a step back sometimes... away from the dreary and toward the beauty in art (and life).





and i really love this color paint! i've loved it from the instant i saw it and actively seek reasons to use it: micaceous iron oxide (GOLDEN makes it). the paint is so infused with light and sparkle that the color shifts between so many different gorgeous hues of grey. paired with the velvet matte finish of gouache and graphite, it is absolutely beautiful. these pictures do almost no justice to the real thing.

and speaking of beautiful...




ophelia
2006

i stumbled across the work of lynne leegte the other day and it left me speechless. it is so thoughtful, so well executed and lovely that she became an instant hero. seriously, how gorgeous is this work! she's amazing. AND she does installation (sigh) which i adore beyond all reason.

and sadly, i ran out of the beautiful chocolate glitter i'm using on the print edition. right at the end, 3 more to go, and the project comes to a stand still. boo!

poems, painting, and the problem of memory...

i've spent the day so far (up since 4:30 am) alternating between painting and reading the complete poems of anne sexton... which means i have also been alternating between moments of exquisite joy and the torture of reliving old, bad memories. nevertheless, a wonderful day!

the oil paintings are coming along quite nicely and should be finished sometime during the next 2 weeks. i also started a new canvas based on this study:




study for 'the fall'
11" x 7 1/2"
acrylic and graphite on paper
2008

the canvas is 3 feet square (so it'll be a few weeks before i'm done) and so much fun to work on. i've been wrapped up in smaller works on paper for weeks now and it feels wonderful to go big.

this image is largely inspired by another painting i'm working on for rana kelly's 'witch of the bayou'. i'm still so struck by her story that i feel compelled to respond to it visually. the task will be to do the story justice. the paintings need to be thoughtful. they need to mirror how gruesome, how beautiful, and how haunting the story is.

tuesday morning pep talk

well... thinking i could get all the glittering done to the print edition i'm working on finished by monday was totally unrealistic! :) but it's ok, i'll get 'em finished soon. besides, it's good to have big projects and get a little ridiculously ambitious every now and then: it pushes a person to reach beyond their comfort zone and find out how much stamina they've really got... and i'm all for finding out what i'm made of. i'd rather have way too many paintings to work on than none!

it's sad - i know a few people who haven't really worked at all since graduation. it's been 5 months. but everyone has their own distinct practice and ways of working that, maybe, taking a big break like that is helpful? i know that stepping back from paintings in the past (and the poems, recently) has given me the distance i needed to see the work accurately, to stop being so precious about it. sometimes, because we're so emotionally connected to the work, we can't see what's really going on - where we may have overstated something or when we might have not said enough.

a few months ago, i racked up 3 poetry rejection letters in the same week! no fun, for sure, but extremely helpful. it's easy for me to fall in to this NOW, NOW, NOW attitude sometimes when it comes to things i care deeply about. and, honestly, my desires distracted me from the facts: i was too close to the work to see it correctly. i needed to let the poems breathe awhile and stop putting so much pressure on them to conform to the people and journals i admire. i'm a new writer... it's gonna take time to get to the level i'd like to be at. so it goes.

the important thing is to not become jaded about it. i still read the journals that sent me rejection letters. why not? they were right. the poems weren't ready. they needed attention i hadn't given. and by continuing to read the work of others, i'm learning more about my own; what my inspirations and attractions are and why.

i've never been the type to shy away from a hard truth or hard lesson. those are the best kind. all i can do, all i want to do, is keep writing, keep painting, and continue to let art be the most important thing in my life. art is wonderful. it's necessary. it's why i wake up. i'm more than up for the challenge. i love it all too much to be daunted.

all this to say...
don't give up, guys. you're doing great. show yourself and your work the patience it deserves, the patience it needs, and usher forth a bit of faith too. art is too wonderful to be given up on. we all need it. terribly.

sneak peak

still recovering from staying up all night printing, but coming away with some work i really like makes it worth being dead on my feet. i'm in the process of completing an edition i started that night. 15 so far but i'm thinking of letting the edition swell to at least 30. we'll see. in the meantime, here's a preview:



breach
11" x 15"
wood cut with hand-painted elements on paper
(ink, gouache, glitter)
2008

definitely the next incarnation in the 'Territories' series and i can't wait to finish the edition and lay them all out and see them together. i'm hoping i can get it finished up by monday but i'll be cutting it close.

up all night making prints...

yes, it's true. i got on a roll and just couldn't stop. here's some of what i came up with:
















this work is an extension of the 'black dresses' series i've been working on and, though it's sorta creepy, there's something about it i really love: the nostalgic air of the image, the violence i've done to it, and (my true love) black ink on white paper.

this last one is my favorite of the group so far. it is the largest, measuring 22" x 30" (the others are all 11" x 15"), and i am seriously considering keeping this one for my private collection.

these prints are completely printed and painted by hand. i cut the block of the paper doll the other night and used it here, repeated, across the page. they are printed with water-based ink and the hand painted elements are done with gouache. such a beautiful matte finish.

i've posted two of these at my shop. check it out! :)

Anonymous Landscape 1

10" x 10"
oil on canvas
2008

my fascination with the collective human urge to protect, stake claims, and establish ownership has led me to consider land and our feelings toward it. recently, my friend heather and i were discussing the native american outlook on land ownership: that it makes no sense. how does one come to own land? it's the same as stating one can own the air - something free and shared by all. how tragically opposite this outlook is to the american perception of ownership.

i've also been thinking about land as a classified document in and of itself - it hides its history. when we look out at a landscape, the events that have taken place within its boarders are not at all apparent. trees and tall grass can erase the signs of war, and leave us with no signal of its true past. bearing this in mind, putting a fence around that landscape seems redundant - we'll never know what secrets the land keeps.

it is our fear that drives the desire to stake claims and put up fences: stranger danger. we're afraid our neighbors will take what we've worked for... and why not? the history of the world is full of conquest, pillaging, taking. we've shown each other that none of us can be trusted. is that cynical? or is it true? finding answers to these questions is what my practice is trying to uncover. i'm trying to show that, just as easily as we put up fences around a house or farm, we put up frnces around ourselves. we lock each other out. we wait to hear unknowable passwords instead of extending trust or compassion.

i'm trying to see what we've lost in order to know where to go.