well... thinking i could get all the glittering done to the print edition i'm working on finished by monday was totally unrealistic! :) but it's ok, i'll get 'em finished soon. besides, it's good to have big projects and get a little ridiculously ambitious every now and then: it pushes a person to reach beyond their comfort zone and find out how much stamina they've really got... and i'm all for finding out what i'm made of. i'd rather have way too many paintings to work on than none!
it's sad - i know a few people who haven't really worked at all since graduation. it's been 5 months. but everyone has their own distinct practice and ways of working that, maybe, taking a big break like that is helpful? i know that stepping back from paintings in the past (and the poems, recently) has given me the distance i needed to see the work accurately, to stop being so precious about it. sometimes, because we're so emotionally connected to the work, we can't see what's really going on - where we may have overstated something or when we might have not said enough.
a few months ago, i racked up 3 poetry rejection letters in the same week! no fun, for sure, but extremely helpful. it's easy for me to fall in to this NOW, NOW, NOW attitude sometimes when it comes to things i care deeply about. and, honestly, my desires distracted me from the facts: i was too close to the work to see it correctly. i needed to let the poems breathe awhile and stop putting so much pressure on them to conform to the people and journals i admire. i'm a new writer... it's gonna take time to get to the level i'd like to be at. so it goes.
the important thing is to not become jaded about it. i still read the journals that sent me rejection letters. why not? they were right. the poems weren't ready. they needed attention i hadn't given. and by continuing to read the work of others, i'm learning more about my own; what my inspirations and attractions are and why.
i've never been the type to shy away from a hard truth or hard lesson. those are the best kind. all i can do, all i want to do, is keep writing, keep painting, and continue to let art be the most important thing in my life. art is wonderful. it's necessary. it's why i wake up. i'm more than up for the challenge. i love it all too much to be daunted.
all this to say...
don't give up, guys. you're doing great. show yourself and your work the patience it deserves, the patience it needs, and usher forth a bit of faith too. art is too wonderful to be given up on. we all need it. terribly.
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