time

fall has arrived. cold mornings. a bit darker for a bit longer. and this yellow light. it is 1:30 in the afternoon and it looks like summer's 5 o'clock. a hard breeze is coming through, sending all the pine needles down like rain. it even sounds like rain. i am wearing a sweater. done painting for the day and ready to curl up with a drawing instead.

blah...

drinking coffee and eating raspberries as the RAIN COMES DOWN. my schedule has been thwarted by the weather once again. no good. i did not get to obey The Almighty Jog nearly enough last week due to the TYPHOON and my prayers for a week of sunshine have gone unanswered as of yet. blah. i may have to resign myself to doing the more than slightly embarrassing TV workout this morning. ahhhhh! it's embarrassing even when you're by yourself! ha! they're just so goofy! all the "sexy" moves you're supposed to follow along with usually just leave this girl feeling a bit ridiculous. but it's a good opportunity for laughter, i suppose. geez.

and what's more- i've got some works on paper to ship out today and i do not - repeat DO NOT - like taking art outside when it's raining, no matter how well it's covered and packaged. it's a risk that i just really don't think is worth it. not at all. so i'll be hoping for at least a couple hours break in the rain today so that i can try to keep to my schedule for today and be responsible and all that good stuff. dang drizzle. i live in CALIFORNIA! winter? huh? i forget every year that we actually do have seasons here and i am always so disappointed when winter finally arrives. always. always always always. and yeah... i know... the trees. they need it. uh-huh. yep. got it. doesn't mean i still don't hate it. so there. i'm pouting now. and logic doesn't work when you've got your bottom lip stuck out. :)

arg...

it's still cold. bitter biting morning cold. i hate it.

yesterday on The Jog, my inner ear ached horribly from all that damned icy wind flooding in to it. no fun at all and, even though obeying The Almighty Jog is a pleasure and necessity not to be toyed with, i have given myself permission to put it off a couple extra hours today in the hope it'll warm up just a little and my ears won't freeze as i run around in the big ol' silent and cold vineyard.

i do not own ear-muffs. i think ear-muffs are stupid when you live in california. there's no excuse for any of us to wear ear-muffs. ever. people in the real cold are the only people who should be allowed to sport them. here in california, it's just fashion when someone puts them on. that weirdo "hi, i'm a dude who likes to wear unicorn t-shirts" fashion. every now and then i see a guy who can really, seriously pull that look off but it's rare. very rare. but there are legions of men out here trying to pull it off themselves. with ear-muffs. barf. puke. barf. throw up a little in my mouth.

all this to say i am already doing laundry. not because i want to but as an excuse to run the dryer and have my little cottage flooded with warmth. the pilot light is out on the heater and i don't feel like singing any thing on my face today. the dryer will suffice.

change...

it is cold here. it has been for the past two days. it looked sunny and bright and warm through the window, but i stepped out in to a strong icy wind. seems autumn has actually arrived. all orange and yellow. and if not for the wind, it might have been warm.

autumn is a strange time for me. there's something in how the light comes down. there's something in all this yellow that makes me feel some type of quiet longing. a memory in the body, i suppose. this is the time of year when things seem more valuable and more special than they would have in summer... and the days stretch out. not quite long but slow. it makes me wish i were independently wealthy so that me and my sweetie could sleep in and stay under our quilts all day, hide from the cold outside and watch movies in bed. no work, no fatigue, no responsibility; just us, snuggled up against the strange longing that finds me each year in this season. i don't know why. i don't know if it's good or bad, just that it's the case... and it has everything to do with all the yellow coming down from the trees.