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My courage consisted in destroying all the usual reasons for living and discovering others. The discovery was made slowly.


The Thief's Journal, p. 175


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elated

the opening friday night was wonderful. and insane! it was so packed with people the gallery got hot! :D and that's 3000 square feet of tremendously high ceiling space we're talking about! it was amazing! the art-going public in san francisco rarely disappoints. they come out in droves and love to laugh and smile and join in the fashion parade too. it's impossible for a people-watcher to be bored here. if you're bored in san francisco you might have sadly been born without a capacity for joy.

i've been lost in my elation even since. :)

and i finally got to meet the sweet and talented and absolutely adorable artist Amanda Smith. if you don't know her work you are missing out! it is fantastic! gorgeous! and with a splash of darger on it that is unexpected and beautiful and just so intriguing! it was so wonderful getting to speak with her and we totally had one of those cute and awesome moments when you meet an artist who's work you love and you both say "I LOVE YOUR WORK!" at the exact say time! hahaha! :D i am so happy to have work on the same wall as her.

and this morning, dark and early, i took the first steps toward a few new year's resolutions and enrolled in spring classes. german and ceramics. i'm probably one of the extreme few art-nerds who, in high school, did not take 2 years of ceramics. i think i had one semester and then focused on drawing and poetry as my electives. anyway, i've been wanting to learn how to make crazy plates to hang on the walls for a couple years now so i figured why not now? especially after getting up close and personal with Amanda's work and seeing how beautiful ceramic art truly is. and the same goes for learning german. so many of my favorite artists and writers are from germany and austria. i'd love to be able to read the work of elfriede jelinik and herta muller in the original. though the translations are absolutely beautiful, it is apparent that some soul has been lost. and so here we go! i'm a bit nervous but also very excited! it's been a goal of mine for a very long time.

the month that stands between now and my first day of class is going to fly by in a crazy, wonderful blur of work and art. in the middle of the reception, Freya and i were already working out a plan for the january exhibition. :)

i am stunned by all that has happened and is happening.

glowing and motivated

things are busy and wonderful and i'm just rolling along with it, feeling so satisfied and happy and encouraged. more than i've felt in a long time. i really can't stress enough how absolutely wonderful it feels to work with people who trust the ins and outs of my practice, who want me to do what feels right and just be myself. it's amazing and i am absolutely grateful for this experience. and we've been reviewed twice more! DANG! and DOUBLE DANG! ha! Artbusiness.com covered it the other day. scroll down til you find Slingshot. and Content at Fecal Face too! beautiful photographs! and tons of them! and i'm in one of them! see if you can spot me. i'm wearing a black shirt that says THE END in big white letters but the END is blocked by someones arm so it just says THE. :) but YAY!!!!! i'm blown away the opening got so much attention! it's so exciting! and we're already working working working on the december show which could prove to be our last exhibition in the space (we're only guaranteed our spot until january).

i'll be sitting the gallery again today. please do come down and say hi. 890 valencia @ 20th. i'll be there from noon - 5pm. maybe even a bit later today. people seemed to be really streaming in around 4:30 last week so i might keep the space open a bit later today if it ends up being the same.

in other news, i've finished the admissions paperwork for my local JC so that i can learn a new language in the new year. :) it's been on my TO-DO list for a very long time and, as i thought about new year's resolutions, i decided it was time to take a run at it. i can't enroll until the middle of next month but the first step has been taken and i am looking forward to wandering around on a college campus again. i love college. i always have. i highly recommend it. :) and also, if i take a second class (which i definitely will. probably something like screen printing or ceramics. fun classes!), it defers my student loan which is awesome. two birds, one stone. survival at its finest. :)

1...

here it is- the last day of a very strangely curling year. and rumour has it that we are to be graced with the elusive blue moon tonight. a gift? a gift for all the weird, hard, horrors that were contained inside the last 364 nights? a token? a peace offering? i accept! and i will be outside tonight to see it for myself.

i painted big child-like clouds on the cover of my new notebook. i'm excited to write in it tomorrow morning. i'm excited to write january 1st, 2010 inside the front cover. i'm excited that a new decade begins tomorrow and that i have an idea of where to take it. i'm excited to be here, now, alive, and doing just fine.

my new year's resolutions are pretty simple- to continue strengthening my commitment to art and writing, to write and paint daily, to read daily, to encourage these pursuits in others, to run, to breathe hard, as hard as i can, to look at the moon every night and see what shape it takes, to express my joy in the small, silly things, to remain kind and open and funny, to laugh every single day for as long and as hard as i can, to laugh until i cry and my belly hurts, to carry myself with confidence and poise, to feel "calm and accomplished" (thanks, becca!), to enjoy how far i've come and press on forward toward all the hopes and dreams i've yet to capture. i will get them. every single last one of them. this year i'll do the work for a solo show. i may not get it scheduled but the work will be done. i'll get a few things published. not a lot but a few and practice bravery in that end of things. i'll finally teach myself how to knit and i'll finally get around to making myself a huge, deep, warm quilt. i'll take better care of my things and be more responsible with money. i'll practice health, in all forms and in all areas of my life. i won't be afraid to say i love you or to give hugs. i'll be myself- totally, fully, and without embarrassment or apology or reservation. i'll be honest and live with honor. all these things and then some... and it all springs forth from words, from writing, from reading, from dropping the ink and letting it roll where it wants to, where it has to.

and all my best, brightest, warmest wishes for you! all my best, all my love, all my strength and silliness and hope! beauty is everywhere, and so many reasons for happiness and to feel proud, feel strong, feel confident and lusciously easy and joyful. everywhere! go see that big blue moon tonight for yourselves. see if the forecast is correct for yourself. it's really just an excuse to look at the moon, to value the wonder that exists in this world. whether or not the forecast is even right isn't at all the point.

with love and gratitude and the most immense respect... happy new year!

off to a good start...

i've been attempting the 'drawing a day' resolution, trying to get prepared and build up some steam for the whole thing and, let me tell you, this will be no easy task... but i'm game. and already i see it works! not just to get my juices going, but also just to lighten my mood. i can't tell you how wonderfully it kick starts the day! i highly recommend it.

anyway, the first few days of it i made pretty crappy drawings. i expected that and also expect it to keep happening. there's really no way around it. but you've got to get the crappy drawings done and out of the way to get to a good one, right. and so...


untitled (sisters)
11" x 7.5"
water soluble graphite and gouache on paper
angela simione, 2009

round two of this particular image. and it definitely won't be the last. there's just something about those white socks and black sandals. some sort of nostalgia or longing or painful expectation, assumption, requirement...

i don't know, i just like it. i'm excited to see where it will go. and me along with it.

soon, i'll be heading over to my neighbor's house to devise a plan of attack for thanksgiving. we are joining forces and i am so excited! she's got the turkey, i've got the ham, and there are tons of potatoes (sweet and not sweet) and brussel sprouts and deviled eggs and cranberry sauce and on and on and on. and this will all be for 5 maybe 6 people. hahahahaha! gluttony! about this time tomorrow, i'm sure i'll already be wondering why the hell i suggested this and will promptly begin feeling disgusted with myself. until then (and even after), i'm going head first.

putting up plans...

my mind is spinning spinning spinning on new year's resolutions, coming up with all sorts of funky ideas to play with: making a quilt, a sweater, black and white striped curtains... fun stuff like that. but i've also been thinking about more businessy things too. it must be done. big on that particular list is refreshing my shop every quarter which spells quite a bit of work on my part but also, if i can manage it, a bigger commitment to my career in a very tangible way. and that's always a good thing. and i'll be starting on that now, making new drawings and things to offer up come january first. everything that's in the shop now will disappear come the first of the year and then every three months the shop itself will be re-curated with new work. keep it fresh, right? that's the name of the game, i've learned. and it doesn't seem easy but it'll keep me moving forward, determined, and thinking about art in an ever-expanding way.

linked to that, i've decided to go ahead and do the 'a drawing day' thing too. i've always been so impressed by the artists who take this particular project on and there's a ton of blogs out there dedicated to this exact practice. the results are always wonderful. it expands the definition of what a drawing is and how to go about making one. for my purposes, at least at the beginning, i'm going to keep a fairly traditional definition in place: marks on paper. and i'm not going to wait for the new year either. i'm gonna go ahead and get rolling on that now so that when the first of the year hits i'll be off and running at full steam. i may even create a second blog to document it... we'll see. having a list of images without any text is sort of a nice aesthetic and i've noticed i'm a person who responds well to having an OUTSIDE to answer to. it keeps me in line. :) however it goes, it'll go well and i know it'll be such a beneficial and wonderful addition to my daily living. dedication = goodness. i draw almost every day as it is but sometimes i don't finish the drawing and it sits hidden in a portfolio for weeks and weeks before i remember it's there. so that's the catch: to finish a drawing, big or small, every single day for an entire year. this is a pretty steep commitment but i'm up for it. drawing, as an act, has always helped the paintings. always. and it's fun too. i'll keep you posted. i've got 5 1/2 weeks to work out my plan of attack on this and i'm pretty sure i'll need every bit of it. and maybe even a new camera.

other than that, the new year will actually be more about maintaining my current commitments and deepening them. The Almighty Jog, my morning writing time, reading, eating healthier foods, drinking more water, doing the dishes on a more regular basis, practicing good listening skills, the laundry. ha! you know, the stuff that makes life better and a bit easier. and i think i'll save the "drink less coffee" resolution for later. i just love that hazelnut dreaminess way too much. i only got involved in the whole coffee-craze about three years ago so i've got some time before i start feeling the ill effects of a rampant and unrestricted coffee addiction. bare with me on that one. besides, it helps me write and paint and it just tastes too good to let go of. not yet, not yet, not yet. ;)

uh oh...

i just checked my calender. there are only 6 weeks left in the year. and being that i am quite fond of rituals, markers of time, beginnings and endings, honoring the process of things, keeping traditions and making new ones, it is time to start thinking about resolutions. yep. yikes.

there are two large paintings that need to be finished and poems i'd like to get a bit deeper in during the next month and half. care-packages to make and little christmas gifts. after that, there will be new additions to my morning rituals to get used to. i'm happy that my morning writing practice is safe and solid. i'm happy that The Almighty Jog is working its' magic in my life and has become a prized part of my daily living as well. and, of course, this blog. i can't believe it's been just about an entire year since i made the resolution to be diligent about this thing. i've done pretty good, somehow managing to get a post up just about every day and letting the practice enrich my life. it has been such a blessing, this little space. this strange land of text and desire. it has brought such wonderful, talented, courageous, beautiful people to me. i am honored and so full of thankfulness. so full! and warm and ready to be brave... to go on being brave, to get more brave with my work, my writing, the paintings, my relationships. and i think that's what the majority of my resolutions this year will pertain to.

big on the list is getting a solo show together which means DOING THE WORK! it means having the bravery to let my practice wander around and do what it wants and just trust the effing thing. :) let it humble me, let it take the reigns and run. just work. let the work be what it wants to be. and my job is to be diligent in my respect for that. the process itself is a magical thing. my stamina seems to be back and my wide-open definition of what art is, what it can do, be, what it's good for seems to be back too. this is a very happy thing and i've missed it.

and the work has brought people to me that i feel so lucky to know. people i admire. people who are good and kind and hard-working. this blog even. it's become a strange little labor of love, an art project in it's own right. why not? and a string that connects me to you in such an artful, gentle, encouraging way. i can't tell you how wonderfully it has strengthened my faith... this little line of us that write and buzz and go on trying for a better way of living. it is so encouraging and gracious and just down right beautiful! and my poet goes on twisting up a net of words, building a nest for us to crawl in to, be safe, be shattered, be alive inside.

the trip down to southern california had a great big silver lining to it. for as grateful as i was about my life, it made me even more so. i saw so clearly all the things and people i love, the things i need to protect and nourish and never ever take for granted. i am so lucky and i want to honor that as best as i can.

following the work and not making demands on it is the best thing i can do. the work makes me a better, happier, healthier person. it makes me good. and that goodness can't help but spill out and slide around in the other areas of my life. my friendships and loves. the work is graceful and patient. i want to be graceful and patient too. the work can teach me this. i just have to listen. i just have to guard it. i just have to work.

and for the next 6 weeks that's all i plan on doing. i won't get lost in scrutinising the paintings or poems, i'll get lost in the process instead. i'll see where i go. for the next 6 weeks i won't make any assumptions about anything and just work work work. january 1st i'll take a look and see what i've done and see where i need to go. for the next 6 weeks i plan to just enjoy each day. that's it. simple, yes, but amazingly hard for a person like me. i've developed a nasty habit of being way too concerned with the future and not enough about the Here and Now. the Here and Now are things, i'm learning, that need to be honored as well. i'm going to have to come up with a few resolutions that will help me do that.

what about you? any new year's resolutions in the works?