1...

here it is- the last day of a very strangely curling year. and rumour has it that we are to be graced with the elusive blue moon tonight. a gift? a gift for all the weird, hard, horrors that were contained inside the last 364 nights? a token? a peace offering? i accept! and i will be outside tonight to see it for myself.

i painted big child-like clouds on the cover of my new notebook. i'm excited to write in it tomorrow morning. i'm excited to write january 1st, 2010 inside the front cover. i'm excited that a new decade begins tomorrow and that i have an idea of where to take it. i'm excited to be here, now, alive, and doing just fine.

my new year's resolutions are pretty simple- to continue strengthening my commitment to art and writing, to write and paint daily, to read daily, to encourage these pursuits in others, to run, to breathe hard, as hard as i can, to look at the moon every night and see what shape it takes, to express my joy in the small, silly things, to remain kind and open and funny, to laugh every single day for as long and as hard as i can, to laugh until i cry and my belly hurts, to carry myself with confidence and poise, to feel "calm and accomplished" (thanks, becca!), to enjoy how far i've come and press on forward toward all the hopes and dreams i've yet to capture. i will get them. every single last one of them. this year i'll do the work for a solo show. i may not get it scheduled but the work will be done. i'll get a few things published. not a lot but a few and practice bravery in that end of things. i'll finally teach myself how to knit and i'll finally get around to making myself a huge, deep, warm quilt. i'll take better care of my things and be more responsible with money. i'll practice health, in all forms and in all areas of my life. i won't be afraid to say i love you or to give hugs. i'll be myself- totally, fully, and without embarrassment or apology or reservation. i'll be honest and live with honor. all these things and then some... and it all springs forth from words, from writing, from reading, from dropping the ink and letting it roll where it wants to, where it has to.

and all my best, brightest, warmest wishes for you! all my best, all my love, all my strength and silliness and hope! beauty is everywhere, and so many reasons for happiness and to feel proud, feel strong, feel confident and lusciously easy and joyful. everywhere! go see that big blue moon tonight for yourselves. see if the forecast is correct for yourself. it's really just an excuse to look at the moon, to value the wonder that exists in this world. whether or not the forecast is even right isn't at all the point.

with love and gratitude and the most immense respect... happy new year!