...a soldier to my own emptiness...

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okay, so i didn't buy a red dress, i bought a blue dress. :)

red is so specific.  i was looking for a fire engine red dress but the closest thing i found was some crazy shade of coral which, though i like the color, was made of such cheap knit that it unmistakably showcased my unmentionables.  and hey, i admit to being okay with looking a little slutty but this wasn't in that good way.  and the only other "red" dress around was maroon.  maroon is categorically NOT RED.  but i was there and eager to shop; excited for my trip and feeling spunky.  this is, in fact, the grand side-effect of The Kelly Bundy Dress.  as well as having two plane tickets, a train ticket, and a concert ticket in my hot little hand.  5 more days!!!!!  AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  and so amidst the Beyonce that blared from the store's stereo system and the excitement in my own heart and mind, i decided turquoise was the next best thing to red so here we are-  packed and ready for adventure, a devil with a blue dress on. 

i'm gonna see this wide world, mama.  

sure the fuck am.  :)

leave nothing on these streets to explore.

i have never felt so happy in my entire life.


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whatever you do, don't pinch me

at a quarter to 2 in the morning, we pulled the trigger. we bought our tickets to Europe.  Becca and i are going to Berlin.  7 weeks to wait.

my mind bends in half at the thought of this. i can't believe i have a ticket with my name on it that will take me all the way to Germany.  i am stunned when i think of it.  it can't possibly be real but IT IS REAL. 

holy shit! hahahahaaaaa!  

today i was all in a frenzy: studying and cleaning and filling a box with clothes and objects i no longer want which will be left on the street in front of the house.  something has changed in my life and within my being already and i haven't even gone anywhere yet.  simply buying the ticket and accepting the massive and beautiful reality that i am finally going to travel to Europe changes so much.  my being is a strange mix of such a deep calm and tremendous excitement.  i have no clue what to even say!  i have no clue what to think!  i'm just going to work on a yarn bomb and have a cocktail and watch "Wings of Desire".  ha! 

elated

the opening friday night was wonderful. and insane! it was so packed with people the gallery got hot! :D and that's 3000 square feet of tremendously high ceiling space we're talking about! it was amazing! the art-going public in san francisco rarely disappoints. they come out in droves and love to laugh and smile and join in the fashion parade too. it's impossible for a people-watcher to be bored here. if you're bored in san francisco you might have sadly been born without a capacity for joy.

i've been lost in my elation even since. :)

and i finally got to meet the sweet and talented and absolutely adorable artist Amanda Smith. if you don't know her work you are missing out! it is fantastic! gorgeous! and with a splash of darger on it that is unexpected and beautiful and just so intriguing! it was so wonderful getting to speak with her and we totally had one of those cute and awesome moments when you meet an artist who's work you love and you both say "I LOVE YOUR WORK!" at the exact say time! hahaha! :D i am so happy to have work on the same wall as her.

and this morning, dark and early, i took the first steps toward a few new year's resolutions and enrolled in spring classes. german and ceramics. i'm probably one of the extreme few art-nerds who, in high school, did not take 2 years of ceramics. i think i had one semester and then focused on drawing and poetry as my electives. anyway, i've been wanting to learn how to make crazy plates to hang on the walls for a couple years now so i figured why not now? especially after getting up close and personal with Amanda's work and seeing how beautiful ceramic art truly is. and the same goes for learning german. so many of my favorite artists and writers are from germany and austria. i'd love to be able to read the work of elfriede jelinik and herta muller in the original. though the translations are absolutely beautiful, it is apparent that some soul has been lost. and so here we go! i'm a bit nervous but also very excited! it's been a goal of mine for a very long time.

the month that stands between now and my first day of class is going to fly by in a crazy, wonderful blur of work and art. in the middle of the reception, Freya and i were already working out a plan for the january exhibition. :)

i am stunned by all that has happened and is happening.