these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.

my artist website is here.

Nov 11, 2012

something to keep you warm while i'm gone...


a poem and a song:

keep your guard up, little one.  the fire is here.  it's already at the foot of the bed.  keep your eyes opened wide, little one, and be ready to jump. be ready to run. be ready to lie to their immaculate faces in response to the damage they have done.  Truth has the benefit of being historically endorsed, he tells me, but maybe if we look close enough we will see there are also positive attributes and outcomes from the telling of lies. then he held me tightly to him in the white bed.  the fire was at my feet.  he said LOOK AT ME.  he remembered then something i'd said the night before about wanting to have my face slapped and up went his hand.  keep your guard up, little one, you've already taught him now how to love you.  keep your guard up, little one, you've told on yourself.  your secrets are hanging half-way out.  put your tongue back in his mouth, whatever it takes to keep you from talking, whatever it takes to keep you from confessing.  confession is the alter of love.  keep at a safe distance.  that isn't what we've come here for.  back up.   watch him, if you will, swell inch by massive inch and don't let go of the beauty of this impressive view.  high and hard, little one, keep your guard up. keep your eyes opened wide.  keep your tongue out.  don't blink and don't explain a fucking thing.

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