these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.


my artist website is here.

Oct 6, 2010

narrow

i was looking at the bright sky and the bright leaves. i was thinking of my drawings. i was thinking of my sweater, every panel now finished and only needing to be stitched together. i was looking at the bright sky and as i watched the bright leaves flutter passed, i saw how fast i was running. pound pound pound. legs and lungs. legs and heart. pound pound pound. at the intersection i looked both ways. the woman in the car did not. i watched her not look. i lept, one hand punched down hard on the hood of her car as she absent-mindedly began to drive right through me. i was running fast and, like an action movie, lept out of the way and yelled HEY! i looked back over my shoulder and both her hands were raised in that "oops" pose. she mouthed the word so-rry pathetically. i felt a bit insulted by that. the sing-song sorry. and then i instantly felt a bit embarrassed by the anger that swelled in me. i ran faster and faster and got back to that place where the pound pound pound is all that matters. the pain in my legs. heaving chest. sweaty face. can we call it beauty? at least sometimes. at least in the moment. at least when you go as fast as you can and see the bright leaves and see the bright sky and be thankful for the quickness that bolted you over the hood of a car. here in one piece. here, feeling just fine. and deciding that narrow escapes are more beautiful to watch than wide ones. i'm very happy that accident was avoided. :)

2 comments:

Roz said...

thank god for your good reflexes!

i had a narrow escape on my bike once with a woman talking on her cell phone while charging forward in her SUV. another time a huge oil tanker truck made a sudden wide right turn in front of me and i did not escape so narrowly, though my foot eventually healed.

runners/peds/cyclists, always be on guard!

angela simione said...

akk! i hope your foot is all better now. SCARY stuff! if i hadn't been watching her not watching me, i wouldn't have been so prepared to leap out of the way. good thing i don't get lost in thought too deeply. :)

always on guard. always always always!