i spent next to no time online this weekend. i holed up with books and papers and pencils instead. phone calls from old friends and lots of soul-searching, excavating existentialism. ha! i read Helaine Posner's long and beautiful essay on the work of Kiki Smith and rolled around in the ideas of Trust it contains. very much a "believe in yourself and trust the work" refrain. and then saturday, my birthday present arrived. while we were at the grocery store, the mail lady dropped off a big fat book at our door that jared had ordered for me. the huge Henry Darger book by Klaus Biesenbach. and so i spent the bulk of saturday afternoon and evening looking at the absolutely gorgeous reproductions of Darger's work, getting absolutely lost in the drive his work materializes- absolute faith in "the call"... the answering of that call, the reward. last night, i finally started reading the text of the book and am anxious to get back to it. and in between all this, tons of drawing. tons. i burned through so many pencils this weekend and will soon be left with only the stubs. which i'm saving for something a la Arman:
:) i've always admired his accumulations.
and this morning: i obeyed the MIGHTY RUN - 3.5 miles - came home, ate fruit and greek yogurt, read Malevich's treatise on Suprematism (which i will have to read again and again until it sinks in deep and i understand well enough to agree with half and dispute the other half), and have already gotten a good hour of drawing under my belt. this is a fantastic start to the new week. and most welcome after last week's recurrent disillusionment and deflated attribute. oh, the joys of the artist ego! FRAILTY! ha! but i have resurfaced and am thinking a lot about my own values and ideas... finding ways to keep the fire stoked and high. it is all about maintaining one's own passionate commitment to this thing. answering the call is the reward.
every single day, i must find a way to answer it.
my twisty education has lit back up.
these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.
thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.
my artist website is here.
my artist website is here.