yikes!

ah, the pleasures of the artist ego...
i'm suddenly having one of those "maybe i shouldn't have said that" days when you second-guess yourself (or at least how you've presented yourself) at every turn. one of those days when i worry that i've stuck my foot in my mouth somehow, or that i didn't respond to an email quickly enough, or that i didn't use the correct lingo, or that i've over-looked something important and will spend the rest of the day walking around feeling embarrassed of myself. it's probably due to the fact that i've got a job interview later today and, for however charming and confident i appear, those things are nerve-wracking. interviews are scary. i always end up thinking i wore the wrong dress, said the wrong thing, giggled when i shouldn't have, or that i somehow managed to offend the person i'm supposed to be trying to impress. i end up cringing at myself as i make the long, self-conscious walk back to the car. this interview is particularly daunting because i really, really, really want this job. it's in my field, it's a prestigious place, and the fact that (if i get it) i'd be working in an environment where my degree would be appreciated has got my guts tied up in knots. i mean, there's not many jobs in the world where a degree in painting earns respect and having a job like that would be amazing. so... i'm on edge and feeling a bit over-sensitive, i suppose. things that wouldn't usually worry me, are. good thing i've got a couple hours to go. i need a long, hot shower and maybe even a quick jog around the block.