i was offered a residency at the Vermont Studio Center. i'm kinda shitting my pants about it.
funny how getting what you want can be a totally terrifying thing. the passed few days have been one torrent of emotion and deep introspection after the next: self-questioning, self-doubt, second-guessing followed by fanatical rounds of elation and sheer joy at the mere thought of spending a month doing nothing but making art and hanging out with other artists. i haven't had that type of engaging, daily discourse since i was in art school. it's been 6 years since i graduated and i miss it. i miss it so much! i miss being around others who think deeply and lovingly and critically about art. i miss being around people who have centered their lives around creativity and artistic inquiry. i miss being a big ol' art nerd, waking to scribble and draw and read and nothing else. though that's largely how i spend my days off, it's just not the same as having 4 weeks to do nothing but those things. and there is simply no substitute for artistic community and comradery. there's absolutely nothing like being around other artists. the way we speak to each other is unlike anything else. being understood, finally, is such a poignant thing... an aphrodisiac in the deepest sense.
and so the questions pour in...
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the time has come for a re-evaluation.
what am i made of?
what do i want?
what do i need?
how brave am i?
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