process...

the sky is gone white. the fog will not burn today.

i am painting. black oil all over the big canvasses. all over and the scent fills my home. lovely. luscious.

i am clear today- slow, involved in method, proceeding in increments; thoughtfully. the process is a wise dictator, uninterested in torture. stop trying for control you don't have and just follow the scent.

there are a million nuances to give myself over to. there are shadows within shadows. it isn't scrutiny. i've been using the wrong word this whole time. it is not scrutiny, it is recognition. it is acknowledgement. see post below called ghosts. thank you alanna and elisabeth. black and black and thin layers of sepia.

breathe.

slow.

what is love?

practice it here, girl. practice loyalty... acceptance... acknowledgement... patience... control only your self, find the rhythm, the scent, the burn beneath the fog. and go.