these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.


my artist website is here.

Jun 4, 2013

just the beginning

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over a year in production, The Blanket of DOOM is finally finished.   mostly.  a few small tweaks here and there, a few loose yarn ends to be woven in to the grain of stitches, and a ton of photographs to take before i can legitimately refer to this project as Done.  in fact, it could be quite some time before i see the end of this particular piece.  the photo up top signals what i envision for The Blanket: a life prior to finding itself on display in a gallery.  we'll see where we end up together.  :)

but it is a happy moment to see her in all her good glory.  so many long hours and evening spent hooking away at this piece.  it is an expression of dedication and faith that, even if imperfect, the idea was a good one and to chase it to the end.  there were plenty of times at the very beginning of this massive undertaking that i wanted to give up, unravel the entire thing, and focus on smaller projects.  there were plenty of weeks when i didn't touch her at all.  couldn't.  even hated the idea of working on her.  there were plenty of times when i dreaded the work that needed to be done.  it seemed so endless.  impossible. 

when i finally reached the half-way mark, my hope and strength returned and i felt committed to seeing the project through to the end regardless of how it turned out.  i no longer needed it to be any good and i just wanted to make the blanket for me.  i began to see it as a landscape...  a road...  a way to learn something deeper about who i am and the type of artist and human i want to be.  a poem to wrap myself in.

Lea had said to me once, "your work is so devotional."  her voice came back to me so many times while i worked on The Blanket.  what is Devotion?  what is it to devote oneself to something?  what does it require?  it comes down to an unspeakable trust.  i trust my work with all that i am and all that i've got.  i entrusted my entire life and self to it a long time ago and haven't questioned it since.  my road through this world might very well be different from others but it is a good one and my work has proven itself to be the very best map and guide.

the picture of me laying on top of the Blanket of DOOM was taken this morning in my kitchen.  she takes up the entire floor.   i'm 5'6".  each letter in DIE is taller than i am.   but the work has always been, and always will be, bigger than me and that has nothing to do with physical scale.  :)




so happy i could DIE
crochet
kingsize blanket
angela simione, 2013










6 comments:

Rana Kelly said...

that's what i need to find. trust. trust in myself and my words. how did you do it? i get all this praise and it gets me off, yeah, but it also makes it more stressful. something to live up to... others' expectations. this blanket is amazing. i want it sooooo much. it's beautiful and hard core... for knitting, haha. love you, sis. x

angela simione said...

thank you, sweetie! i'm glad you like it! i am so happy to see her finally finished. the next inception of the project will begin soon and i am definitely excited to get on with it.

i knew i needed to trust myself when i realized that every single time i entrusted my life and myself to ME and MY WORK things went amazingly well and everytime i entrusted my life and self to someone else everything went to shit pretty fucking quick. :)

sad but true... but maybe not so sad now that i've learned not to make that mistake again.

just keep writing. ignore everything else as much as you can.

Radish King said...

I'm so excited by this the concept the actual piece that I can barely sit still. Oh Angela you just get better and better. I can't wait to see this on a wall in a gallery in New York.
Love,
Rebecca

angela simione said...

rebecca, my love!!! thank you so much!!! i've been waiting on pins and needles since i posted this pic yesterday to know what you think of this!

i'm gonna try my hardest to make new york love me as much as i love her. ;)

xoxo

angela

severn said...

i love your blanket!
yes.

yolanda.

angela simione said...

yolanda!!! thank you so much, sweetheart!!! :D