these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.


my artist website is here.

Mar 17, 2011

a small return to Self

this morning, under a grey sky, i cracked the nut that holds the distributor in place on my 1973 super beetle (bright yellow, thank you very much), moved it ever so slightly to the right, cranked the ignition and she fired right up. this is the first time i've heard her gorgeous rumble in a year. i was thinking i might sell her but not now. nope. no way. i love this little car and i feel like such a jerk for not driving her this passed year. this passed year that was so full of hard transitions, hard lessons, constant learning, a strange flux. and life is still that way. it will probably continue to be that way for a while longer too. 2011 has not been very kind thus far.

elisabeth is right. her comment on the post below is so accurate and true. so helpful. it offered a much needed clarity and gentleness. i haven't factored it in enough... the hard hit of my mother's death and how this has impacted who i am... how it will continue to impact my life and personality for years to come. it is a rough road i'm on but it is not without Goodness and Love and all varieties of Hope, big and small.

and then, in the rain, i washed a years worth of dust off her. my Bumble Bug (that's her nic-name).

this is a powerful symbol. very.

2 comments:

Elisabeth said...

I couldn't agree more, Angela. Cars are powerful symbols. They are a means of transportation. They get us around.

And your bright yellow beetle's return to life sounds like a wonderful omen on your journey with so much promise of life to come.

I'm pleased to read this.

angela simione said...

elisabeth,

transport. i love that. yes, yes, yes. movement, motion, FORWARD motion, acceleration, mobility... all these things, all that a car symbolizes. and especially: independance.

thank you for sticking by me, friend. i am so grateful for all your words and wisdom. :)