i have put the eggs on to boil for sunday dinner with the neighbors. there will be a massive pile of deviled eggs and i want to let them chill for a few hours before hand. they are better that way. and country fried chicken and i'm not sure what else but it will be country-style too and very delicious. country cooking is one of my most beloved. comfort food in the truest sense.
and yesterday, my sweetheart surprised me with a sudden change of course and we ended up in Bodega Bay, eating spicy clam chowder and fish & chips. huge seagulls sitting on top of the crab shack and a small boy running toward the pier, father chasing close behind, scooping him up where the guard rail ended.
and then the long, beautiful drive back through Jenner and Guernville, watching the shore lands morph to wine lands, loud music in the car and laughing laughing laughing and remembering our weekend in San Luis Obispo, the sulfur springs, perfuming the water with rosy oil and black night all around.
and this morning i talked his ear off about writing, about art, about practice, about letting go of worry and expectation and just letting it all swirl and breathe. this is a good morning to pay attention to our fair leige, our much loved, deeply loved Radish King.
stamina for the struggle. and she is right: if anyone ever tells you it will be easy, they're lying. at very least, i have never been lied to about that. i've known from the very start that this was going to be terrifying and hard and that every inch gained was going to be hard won.
but it is an amazing course of life.
go.
10 comments:
gone a long time ago.... :)
ha! yes you did!!!! and the results are startling and gorgeous. your blog and words are such an uexpected mirror for me... every today, your comment about the horses over at radish king... it made me catch my breath because i was that little girl, imagining the fat galloping horse, fast as Farlap, running alongside our car on the freeway. i have never ever heard another person talk about that day-dream before. never. and it made me recollect (re-collect) something of that small self of mine from way back then.
it's a day-dream that i remember quite often. from the outside, maybe. from the Now. and i look at myself when i was small, looking out the window, wrapped up in that beautiful dream of freedome and escape. that racing.
thank you for mentioning it. my heart is all tearful smiles...
fast, not fat. ;)
How did we become indoctrinated to think that if a thing is other than easy, we are doing it wrong? Writing today of matters that caused my body to ache like flu or hammer blows...not what I expected. Having so recently found you and Radish King, I am emboldened to rush toward deeper water, then surprised when the undertow catches me. Still the only word is go.
marylinn ((((BIG HUG))))
that undertow surprises me too. it seems to take hold at very unexpected moments, reminds me of its presence and strength when i've planned for clear skies.
still, and always. just go. :)
your presence here is such a valued gift and delight. :)
John Irving in Garp calls it the undertoad. The dreaded undertoad. This is my water world too.
xo
YES the undertoad. YES. the NUMBER ONE REASON i fell in love with Garp was the undertoad.
Fish & chips sound divine, as does a sudden change of course, laughing, laughing.
Writing, the terrifying and the hard. it is all of that and more, as you say, "an amazing course of life."
i have not read Garp, yet! i've always heard wonderful things about it and you two singing its praises definitely sparks my interest. :)
any time someone says anything about a toad, i always imagine The Hypno-Toad from Futuramma.
hi teresa, the fish & chips were wonderful! and all the laughing too. :) and then coming home to write and read, write and read...
a beautiful day. and i'm learning how to let go of rules- for life as well as writing. it is terrifying, but the freedom that sweeps in as a result is ecstatic. :)
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