:)

could it have been the waves? or reading Art & Fear, there, at the edge of the world? a shore where the water is too cold for humans but just right for dogs. and i made a pile of river rocks, beautiful grey stones flat as pancakes. and another pile of soft-looking, impeccably white stones with the intention of bringing them home and putting them in glass jars on the window sill. but i left the piles there. smiled, as i walked away, that a child would probably be the person to notice the piles and think it an act of magic. :) i was that kind of little kid, for sure.

and so this sweep lately- bits of my childhood-self beginning to show up again in my daily life. innocent, trusting actions. simple and sweet and so endlessly enjoyable. the warm lure of the potential that exists inside a regular day. maybe this is the One Day at a Time philosophy in action. i've been trying to harness it for months and i finally feel like i've got my hand in the mane of that particular horse. it is soft and exciting and today i woke with such a pleasant sense of possibility.

this morning, i will run as if i am already a marathon winner. and i will write as if i've already published a novel. and i will paint as if i am already welcomed in to a museum. because it relieves the pressure to look at those things. to get back in to the single moment, be present in the action, and not look outside for encouragement. what could we accomplish if we did not worry about markers of success? such greatness! such happiness and capacity for joy. such long, hefty laughter.

looking back, i see that the last year of my life has been a kind of process of elimination. moving things out of the way so that i could move forward. so that i could see. clear out the clutter. the world begins to brighten again. i have painted and read and wrote more since january than i have since i was in school. my life gets fuller and fuller, built with (and on) only the things i truly care about. art, writing, laughing, running, reading, dancing, singing, dreaming, digging.

some days, i have to live in 15 minute increments in order to not become daunted by the task (or dream) in front of me. it works. i feel like i've finally cleared out enough clutter, swept out enough confusion, to really be able to identify the road i'm on. it's a good road. one that has brought such wonderful people in to my life (you and you and you and you and). and all the ideas you bring. all the toys we share. who would've thought that the seemingly geeky act of blogging would have dumped such a strong feeling of gratitude and connection in to my life! it is amazing and i learn so much from this community of people who, like me, deeply believe that art and words and ideas matter. that they are powerful and necessary.

it is an odd time in life. but also rife with wonder and possibility. it is a creative time. i'm happy to be here to share in it and offer whatever small kernel i can.

good morning. :)