these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.

my artist website is here.

May 19, 2010

we were all once Holden Caulfield.

i finished reading The Catcher in the Rye last night. the last 60 or so pages is when Holden Caulfield really starts flashing crazy but, honestly, i remember feeling that way a lot when i was a teenager- that the world was phony and mean. it is an exceptional work of art that has really stood the test of time. in spite of the dated slang and euphemisms contained within the language of the book, i think the story itself is sort of timeless... effective regardless of what era it is read in. i'm so glad i decided to go back to it. and it led to a very beneficial, forgiving, necessary walk down memory lane of my own. simply reading it created a warm space where dealing with my own memories and family history led to a soft reconciliation of certain events. it helped me cast a more understanding, gentle eye on the trials we are all faced with throughout our lifetimes. what a cool blessing. and that's ART for ya! :)

my Letter of Intent has morphed in to a huge personal art manifesto. ha! and that is NOT what a Letter of Intent is supposed to be. i suppose i have a lot to say (and get out of the way) before i can get whittle my ideas down to a more manageble bite in terms of a residency. i'm moving from the general to the specific, and it is actually really wonderful to be writing all my ideas down in essay format. hopefully, i can get it all out and then go back in and find a way to condense my aims for the purpose of this letter and get it finished in time. whether or not i am able, it's still a good practice. i haven't had to write a formal essay in 2 years. i guess i'm a bit out of practice.

but today i am painting painting painting. i need a break from all the intellectualism. my mind is tired from all that particular breed of fun. ha! but while we're on the subject of intent and art and The Catcher in the Rye, take a look at page 189. Mr. Antolini makes a very good point. ;)

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