these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.


my artist website is here.

Mar 24, 2010

grrrr

i've been working on drawings of icebergs all morning and will leave soon to go obey The Almighty Jog before it starts raining and before i slide too far in to a state of agitation. The Jog is just as much about mind maintenance as body maintenance... maybe more so. all that pounding of my heart and hard breathing usher in such an enthusiastic (and relieving) clarity. and lately i've found myself feeling quietly annoyed and more than a bit irritated. mostly with things outside of my control, but also because i've been feeling a very strong pull to make a more concrete plan for my life. actual paths toward my goals and aspirations and it's hard to know where to start. it always comes back to the work, to working everyday and seeing where i end up, what i've done, what i'd like to do, etc, etc, etc. it's just that sometimes the daily grind starts feeling like non-movement. my impatience begins to rear its stupid, meddlesome head and i notice i'm a bit punchy, a bit on edge, a bit fragile in the feelings department. The Almighty Jog alleviates a lot of this and gets me back to a healthier state of mind where i realize (and accept) that deep changes take time, and that big accomplishments are really just a series of small accomplishments all piled up. the daily grind is important. or rather, it's important to make sure that grind is healthy and true to who you are, true to who you're trying to become. effing growing pains.

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