uh oh...

i just checked my calender. there are only 6 weeks left in the year. and being that i am quite fond of rituals, markers of time, beginnings and endings, honoring the process of things, keeping traditions and making new ones, it is time to start thinking about resolutions. yep. yikes.

there are two large paintings that need to be finished and poems i'd like to get a bit deeper in during the next month and half. care-packages to make and little christmas gifts. after that, there will be new additions to my morning rituals to get used to. i'm happy that my morning writing practice is safe and solid. i'm happy that The Almighty Jog is working its' magic in my life and has become a prized part of my daily living as well. and, of course, this blog. i can't believe it's been just about an entire year since i made the resolution to be diligent about this thing. i've done pretty good, somehow managing to get a post up just about every day and letting the practice enrich my life. it has been such a blessing, this little space. this strange land of text and desire. it has brought such wonderful, talented, courageous, beautiful people to me. i am honored and so full of thankfulness. so full! and warm and ready to be brave... to go on being brave, to get more brave with my work, my writing, the paintings, my relationships. and i think that's what the majority of my resolutions this year will pertain to.

big on the list is getting a solo show together which means DOING THE WORK! it means having the bravery to let my practice wander around and do what it wants and just trust the effing thing. :) let it humble me, let it take the reigns and run. just work. let the work be what it wants to be. and my job is to be diligent in my respect for that. the process itself is a magical thing. my stamina seems to be back and my wide-open definition of what art is, what it can do, be, what it's good for seems to be back too. this is a very happy thing and i've missed it.

and the work has brought people to me that i feel so lucky to know. people i admire. people who are good and kind and hard-working. this blog even. it's become a strange little labor of love, an art project in it's own right. why not? and a string that connects me to you in such an artful, gentle, encouraging way. i can't tell you how wonderfully it has strengthened my faith... this little line of us that write and buzz and go on trying for a better way of living. it is so encouraging and gracious and just down right beautiful! and my poet goes on twisting up a net of words, building a nest for us to crawl in to, be safe, be shattered, be alive inside.

the trip down to southern california had a great big silver lining to it. for as grateful as i was about my life, it made me even more so. i saw so clearly all the things and people i love, the things i need to protect and nourish and never ever take for granted. i am so lucky and i want to honor that as best as i can.

following the work and not making demands on it is the best thing i can do. the work makes me a better, happier, healthier person. it makes me good. and that goodness can't help but spill out and slide around in the other areas of my life. my friendships and loves. the work is graceful and patient. i want to be graceful and patient too. the work can teach me this. i just have to listen. i just have to guard it. i just have to work.

and for the next 6 weeks that's all i plan on doing. i won't get lost in scrutinising the paintings or poems, i'll get lost in the process instead. i'll see where i go. for the next 6 weeks i won't make any assumptions about anything and just work work work. january 1st i'll take a look and see what i've done and see where i need to go. for the next 6 weeks i plan to just enjoy each day. that's it. simple, yes, but amazingly hard for a person like me. i've developed a nasty habit of being way too concerned with the future and not enough about the Here and Now. the Here and Now are things, i'm learning, that need to be honored as well. i'm going to have to come up with a few resolutions that will help me do that.

what about you? any new year's resolutions in the works?