today...

there is a new daily mantra- set in place by a woman wiser than i. endlessly wise and full of hope, she said, "be gentle with yourself". i write it over and over again in my notebook each morning. it is the new alpha and omega. the first line, the last line. it is that same old practice of writing sentences in school, only this time it isn't due to a fuck-up and this time it isn't an act of punishment. it is an exercise to believe in the good, to believe in time- that i have some. i've needed this belief for quite a long while.

the sky is pale. that blue you find on a blue-eyed dog. and on a dog's eye, it is disconcerting and puts you on guard. it is shocking. spooky like. but up on that big ol' sky, it ain't spooky at it. it is quiet and calm. it is just waking up, stretching out a gentle fold, warming, casting its delicate tint over everything beneath. it is a whisper.

today, i will obey The Jog and take my new hot pink sports-bra on its maiden voyage. :) i will eat nectarines and get myself clean and wear something that makes me feel good. i will play inside all my little projects and not be too serious and i will remember, over and over again, the new mantra. i will attempt evenness. i will stretch out. i will reach toward warmth.