these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.

my artist website is here.

Jul 9, 2009

die, scumbag!

putting on another pot of coffee- i did the damned dreaded dishes and am now free to while away my evening in sweat and oil. The Jog awaits and i've decided that its call with never go unanswered ever again. ever. it's too good to me to cast aside. my brain loves the fast rush of oxygen and so does my heart and my legs and my waist and my painting practice too. i'm trying to tame the dirty little snot-nosed perfectionist in me and ignore her to death. yes, ignore her til she dies. she's a mean little brat and i'm tired of sharing my life with her. she must be murdered or tied up and blindfolded at least. The Jog helps to silence her. all hail The Mighty Jog.


The Storialist said...

Yes, those dreaded inner perfectionists...they hide during housework, and emerge during what we feel most proud of. :)

Are you a Virgo? If so, that's where your perfectionist comes from.

If not...elsewhere :).

angela simione said...

ha! you found me out! i am a virgo. not the kind with the little white glove that checks for dust... or maybe that's a metaphor. :)

Alanna Risse said...

I'm a virgo too and yeah, I have an evil demon inside me that tells me I'm crap and that I'm never done and even if I get complements or positive critiques, I assume people are just being nice, trying to make me feel better about my work even though they know it's horrible crap. I am my own worse critic. Let's boot the emmer effers.

angela simione said...

totally. i'm getting tired of this horrible hamster-wheel of constantly second-guessing myself and my worth and my work. it's a stupid cycle. for a time i managed to kid myself in to thinking it helped me and made me work harder... now i see that it's really only served to put up road blocks and make the climb harder than it needs to be.

Joetta M. said...

i have one of those inner beasts myself. we must excorcize (as in exorcism) them out!

angela simione said...

yes! we must! who knows some white magic? i'm willing to try almost anything to be rid of the little beast.