these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.

my artist website is here.

May 7, 2009

a new road opens...

so now that my odd anniversary is officially over, i feel resolved and ready to take on the world once more. for the past several weeks, more and more, i've been feeling a very strong pull to get myself back out in to life in a more day-to-day kind of way... i.e. getting a day job. for as wonderful as being able to stay home and paint everyday may sound, it actually begins to get a bit suffocating. the walls start closing in and lonliness begins to set in. i'm a people person and i like having a reason to leave the house and join in the fun. and, truth be told, i've managed to have fun at pretty much every job i've ever held. maybe not so much when i worked as a maid, but even then i at least found joy in being around the people i worked with. i am sincere in my love and appreciation for humanity and i thrive when i have ample amounts of human contact. i really like people. i've never been one of those grouchy, tortured, hateful artist-types who love confining themselves to the solitude of the studio. never. even in school, i'd grab whatever it was i was working on and drag it to one of my buddy's studios and work there. i like being a part of a community. it makes me feel good and, i think, adds something a bit more insightful and delicate to the work in general. all this to say, i've made up my mind to be a worker-bee again. i'm just happier that was. i like being involved with more than the inner workings of my own mind and desires.


sMacThoughts said...

I love hearing that; it's really interesting to me, those who are people persons. I think I learned quite young to be alone (even though I had/have an identical twin-she lives far from me now - we both agreed that being with each other was the same as being alone. She is me, I am she...)and I never had any friends who loved art like I did, so it was something I did by myself. Get the day job if you like, or even do volunteer work if that's an option; double bonus there: you can spend time with people AND do some real good!

angela simione said...

a twin! i love that! "She is me, I am she..." :)

growing up i was a very shy child. painfully shy and spent most of my time alone. i was always so sad because of it. it wasn't until late in high school that i forced myself out of my shyness. and sometimes i can still feel myself wanting to hide in my mama's skirts again. but i just think people are so interesting. i always have... even when i was hiding from their gaze. i've had to learn how to make myself overcome my own nature.

volunteerism is a wonderful idea! thanks! i hadn't thought of that. hmmmmmm.... lots to consider. just thinking about being out in the world in a more disciplined, responsible way makes me feel happy.