these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.
not entirely out of nowhere, but nevertheless sudden and unexpected, i've been seized by anything and everything GERMAN for the last 48 hours of my life... i mean, to the point of not really getting things done. that is how hard and hot and huge my fascination has been. it has me running back and forth between Anselm Kiefer paintings and Rammstein videos, from weird Nina Hagen operas to the poems of Paul Celan. i've even been listening to Falco (i miss you) even though he's Viennese, not German, but sang in German so i've allowed him in to my hot-tub too. and this fever shows no signs of breaking any time soon. i must learn this language so i can stop emailing the one person i know who speaks german, asking him for translations of songs and what not. i must get to Berlin and drink beer and chain-smoke and eat whatever the hell is put in front of me.
this is my favorite painting by mr. kiefer and i was lucky enough to see it in person at his retrospective at SFMOMA a couple years ago. there's just something about the led window drilled on top of this painting that holds me- a little grid that tries to establish order over chaos. and of course, touring through his massive, building-sized paintings and books, i had all sorts of inappropriate thoughts about a man who lists "semen" as one of his painting materials.
and a word of warning about this video- very artistic, but equally disturbing. written about a gruesome act of cannibalism/murder, "Mien Tiel" means "my part" and deals with the completely horrific fulfillment of Armin Meiwes personal ad.
brutal, fascinating, fearless, and completely compelling... i need to see Germany. i need to smell it and wander in its forests.
2 comments:
How ironic is it that last weekend we enjoyed German sausages and kraut?
ha! :) THAT'S what was missing from my fantasy life of germany. noted for next time.
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