upon waking, i immediately started thinking about the news... probably because the last thing i read last night on AOL was the death of natasha richardson. very, very horribly sad. what a loss for us all. i loved her work and i love her husband's work and it just made me so so sad for her children.
and so all morning i've been having a hard (unsuccessful) time getting certain horrors out of my head: the woman who had her lips, eyelids, and HANDS ripped off by her best friend's chimpanzee. oh my god. OH MY GOD! the horrific image i've got in my head of this poor woman is breaking my heart.
and then, there's the monster in austria who kept his daughter in a windowless rape dungeon for 27 years, impregnated her 7 times, let one child die, and raped her in front of her children- 3 of which never saw sunlight until they were rescued. i mean... WHAT! HOW! a mental disorder isn't a good enough explanation for that type of sustained torture and unimaginable cruelty. it just isn't. your ass is fucking evil. EVIL! and i can't stop thinking about the daughter... this isn't an experience a person will ever be able to bounce back from. ever. some lawyer involved with the case referred to her as a "broken woman". how the hell could she not be? she's a walking murder victim. there's nothing any of us can do to heal her from something like this. not one thing.
and maybe that's why my mind is so wrapped up in all this- the tremendous sense of helplessness i feel when i learn of someone who's been so totally humiliated, brutalized, tortured... i can't really even describe my reaction to this. i just feel so separate from the world. the world seems enormously, inexplicably gross. i have to make a huge effort to remind myself that good does, in fact, exist. i have to remind myself that, hopefully, and with enough diligence and stubborn perseverance, ART can combat these horrors... that this woman might, MIGHT, be able to find some small comfort in a poem or a piece of music or a painting... that she will hopefully pick up a paintbrush or a pen... what else is there to hope for?
