my love. my beloved. for you. a testament.

.



precious violin (for Louise Bourgeois)
15" x 11"
mixed media on paper



silver gouache and graphite. lovely. and after standing with her "spider" at SFMOMA last week, my heart opens with such gratitude for her work and to have come alive in an age where she was working. such ferocity and beauty. she is a force like no other.

hermitage

.


it is a very very very hot day.

i am hiding indoors.

i am trying to solve my puzzles.

rearrange rearrange.








the spider is almost done.

heart break break break

okay. enough. i'm sick of this: death everywhere.

one of my favorite artists of all time died today. another genius gone from the world. another one. and i am angry and sad. very angry and very sad. all my angry confusion about all sorts of other, far unrelated things, surges to the top of my head and locks up my throat and all i can think is this isn't right this isn't fair just like a little kid. she herself would tell me to shut the fuck up.

i bet you anything she figured out the meaning of life in the wee hours of the morning and that's what did it. once you attain perfection, you go. and there she goes. 98 years old. fire on top of fire. burning intelligent searing honest woman. i miss you so much already.

i was convinced you were immortal.

i will tack a spider above my bed.




"spider"
louise bourgeois