these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.

my artist website is here.

Mar 27, 2013

this love

when i think of what came before

nothing seems real.

i stretch my legs in front of me
and i try to see my legs as a i once did:
my appendages as Infant, as child-like
rather than womanly

i stretch my legs in front of me and think of my childhood
my Child-Self.
i try to identify.

i feel a kinship but not a symbiosis.

my Self is not mirrored back.

i think of my child-self and know that i have grown
i think of your eyes
how they reach
how they exceed.

they exceed the best of me.

i will never be as beautiful as you.
i will never be
as smart.

look in to me.
watch me stretch my legs.
put your hands on me
like a willing tithe
like a seashell
the rolling ocean, welcoming
all we cannot utter.
bang your conscience against me
like an otter does
the captured shell against the rock
and speak to me as a prophet might

if my legs were stretched wide enough.


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