these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.

my artist website is here.

Sep 5, 2012

totally useless and unfocused and desperate for more

i don't even know where to begin or how to begin.  is there a chance for eloquence inside this massive buzz of elation?  i am far too excited to be of much use for anything other than sex or dancing.  and that's a straight up fact.  i return to a list of pressing responsibilities and cannot manage to make myself focus on any of it.  the dynamism of the past week is alive and writhing in my blood.  i don't remember ever feeling as beautiful, elated, thankful, energized and alive as i do right now.  the energy of that city is amazing. i only slept 5 hours a night each night i was there.   how do i begin to tell the story of an adventure?  how do i tell you how happy i am?  how do i tell you how painful it was to board the plane on my return flight home yesterday?  and that it felt more like i was leaving home than returning to it.  i fell instantly in love with new york city, especially the lower east side, and felt at home the very second my shoes hit the street. 

a wall in brooklyn photographed at 4am that pretty much sums up the entire experience.

i'll tell you a few stories once i catch my breath.