these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.

my artist website is here.

Jun 18, 2012

ich habe euch nicht verlassen

there is no such thing as wasted time. none of my time has been wasted and none of it ever will be. i am here, alive and moving, fingers stretching toward pencils and computer keys, fingers caught in tangles of wool and hair.

i work every day and finally saved up money for a few of the basics: a bed, a computer, a room of my own.  the walls and curtains here are all white. i hung pierre et gilles' portrait of jean paul gaultier by the door like Mother Mary so that his grace would be the parting image that inspires me as i head out in to the world.

there are a lot of missing details, i know, but we'll spare each other that gross game of playing catch up. we'll get to it all eventually. we can bathe together in this electric light. we can move slowly. we can warm up to each other and warm each other up.

daily, i walk to the train and smile.  a new wind finds me.  an old self has returned; a self i naively buried a long time ago for the sake of peace, in the hope of keeping pain at bay.  but fearing pain has done absolutely nothing to halt its' arrival.  it has found me over and over again in spite of my worry.  now, there are so few things i am afraid of. 

there are new rules and they are of my own creation. blackland expands. i will make myself in my own Image.


Gina Abelkop said...

ah, starting over requires a slow gathering of materials- happy to hear yr on yr way. when kate and i were together in april we spoke (fawningly) of you, and i got to see the beautiful sweater she bought from you. xox

angela simione said...

:) gina! thank you so much! i have your book here with me. your zines too. it was absolutely my honor to make her that sweater. i'm so happy she choose that particular piece. and i thought of you just two days ago when i made a new bleach t-shirt. are you doing any readings in the area soon?

yes, it is a slow process for sure but i am well under way. i am building an honest life and feel very grateful for the opportunity to do so. :)