the light this morning is beautiful.
i stumble around, undressed, enjoying the simple fact of where i am: the hard wood floor under my feet and the empty stretcher bars leaning against the wall, a huge drawing in its infancy laying on the living room floor. the only furniture we have are two huge bookcases - one in the living room and one in the bedroom - and the chest of drawers and hope chest i inherited from my mom a few years ago when she was first thinning out her possessions in preparation for her move to tennessee. other than our massive collection of books and all the art and art supplies that follow me around, it is pretty spare here. i must say i rather enjoy it. i like having less.
yesterday, i ran a round The Lake again. 3+ miles of sweat and hard breath, hopscotching around and over huge piles of goose shit. i had no idea canada geese were so filthy but they are. canine sized shits only green from all the horrible algae they slurp up. and EVERYWHERE. my god. nevertheless, a beautiful place and an amazing run. it is the perfect distance. it is just a bit longer than what my endurance likes and that's a good thing. i have to push myself to finish and i feel happy as i make my way back around to my starting place. i feel happy as i run, lost in all my daydreams and plans, turning over each thought like a stone. i will run again this afternoon. this morning is for crocheting roses and drinking lady grey tea.
i sit here with kate's postcard from scandinavia next to me. the smooth design of the postage stamps make me yearn for an adventure of my own. new languages in my ear and new fruit in my stomach, dusty museums to wander through, words i can't understand and a train ticket in my hand. ahhhh... one day soon, i hope. i am so horribly un-traveled. this must be remedied.
it is the last day of june. we have lived through, miraculously, the first 6 months of this year. we have 6 more to go. i found my notebook from last december and looked at my list of new year's resolutions. i've accomplished a good number of them but most no longer fit who i've become. rather than scratch them off the list, i'll make a new one. a new list for the second half of the year. it'll help me know where i am, where i've come from, where i need to go.
i read kate's book and see myself tucked in the corners of so many words. maybe not as green, but green nonetheless. i'm not ashamed, just surprised. how could it be that i am still a bit naive? still wondering who i am and who i should be? still trying to darken my own outline and distinguish myself from what i was taught to be.
last night i sat and read her book in public when i probably should've been making eye contact and smiling and being approachable. it might've been rather rude of me to sit there with my nose stuck in a book but how does one tear oneself away when they are reading the curve of their own story?
i bounce back and forth between it and volume 3 of anais nin's diary. my lineage flowers in front of my eyes and it is a gorgeous, angry, swirling thing. magical and fantastic, romantic, inspired, and just so damn smart!
where are you, now, 6 months in? are you a list maker too? what do you want to do?
Jun 30, 2011
Jun 29, 2011
see you soon!
i will be here tonight. you should be there too. i will premiere my newest SWEATER OF DEATH (see photograph a few posts below) so you'll know which one is me. i will have some of the i will not die in front of you prints available and seahorse skeletons too. maybe even some drawings. :)
bundle up and come out tonight!
<3
bundle up and come out tonight!
<3
Jun 28, 2011
rainy day
tap tap tap on the roof and windows, i pace back and forth. i crochet black roses and pray the sky will clear. i want to get out and run around the lake. i want to sweat and breathe hard and feel my feet pounding against the dirt. i go through my german flashcards (yes, i am totally so nerdy as to have flashcards), and listen to the angles of this beautiful language. the tones and foreign lilts coming out of my own mouth. it adds a new breed of romance to my life. a new shape and desire. and kate's book is here next to me. it came in the mail the other day and i am loving every second of it, every page. all her writing reaches into me and pulls out so many hidden things. her writing makes me write. her work makes me want my own even more than i already do. the work of others has always amplified and accelerated my drive. i go back and forth between reading and writing, turning her pages and turning out my own. tap tap tap on the keys and the rain on the windows.
Jun 27, 2011
not a contest.
stare at me. i'll stare at you. there's something to it.
THOU SHALT DIE
hand-crocheted sweater
angela simione, 2011
THOU SHALT DIE
hand-crocheted sweater
angela simione, 2011
Jun 20, 2011
Jun 18, 2011
the way it is
ever read your own work and think "what a fucking psychopath"? ha! yeah... one of those days. or weeks. still, it feels good to be writing. moving the pen and hitting the keys. i was up so late last night bouncing between Word Documents, adding and subtracting sentences, sometimes spilling entire paragraphs, and i think 2 pieces might actually be the same piece... might need to be combined. i think of anais nin writing the hard stuff first, the passages that were bound to take the most out of her, and then sewing them together later. so much of writing seem to be about building bridges, about making patchworks. i've been cutting up pages and pages of printed prose lately and taping them back together in different arrangements. it's been good to work that way.
i found louise bourgeios' Destruction of the Father at the CCA library the other day and sat down in one of the big leather chairs and read for a few hours.
on page 49:
...You can stand anything if you write it down. You must do it to get hold of yourself.
yes.
i found louise bourgeios' Destruction of the Father at the CCA library the other day and sat down in one of the big leather chairs and read for a few hours.
on page 49:
...You can stand anything if you write it down. You must do it to get hold of yourself.
yes.
Jun 17, 2011
love
.
one of my closest friends gave birth to her first child yesterday morning.
700 miles between us and i feel so overcome.
when i spoke to her yesterday, i started crying and choking all over my emotions. so silly... i don't know how it is that i became the sort of person that gets so choked up at births and weddings but i do. i cried at her wedding and now at the birth of her son. even thinking of it now my eyes sting. and blubbering on the phone with her i told her how proud i was of her, how much i love her and that i'll get there as soon as i can. i told her that if she's half as good a mother as she is a friend, the kid is immeasurably blessed. she's an amazing mother already. and we marvelled together at the word: mother. i can't believe it. she has a son. i have a nephew.
i am overcome. so grateful and astounded and rocked to the core by such a deep, abiding love for too many things to name... by things i don't have the language yet to name.
i can't wait to see her and hug her.
.
one of my closest friends gave birth to her first child yesterday morning.
700 miles between us and i feel so overcome.
when i spoke to her yesterday, i started crying and choking all over my emotions. so silly... i don't know how it is that i became the sort of person that gets so choked up at births and weddings but i do. i cried at her wedding and now at the birth of her son. even thinking of it now my eyes sting. and blubbering on the phone with her i told her how proud i was of her, how much i love her and that i'll get there as soon as i can. i told her that if she's half as good a mother as she is a friend, the kid is immeasurably blessed. she's an amazing mother already. and we marvelled together at the word: mother. i can't believe it. she has a son. i have a nephew.
i am overcome. so grateful and astounded and rocked to the core by such a deep, abiding love for too many things to name... by things i don't have the language yet to name.
i can't wait to see her and hug her.
.
Jun 16, 2011
Jun 14, 2011
Jun 13, 2011
the luck of the thing
strangeness twined inside this light. suddenly she comes in her robes and curls, lip-sticked and smiling, that image that i've always had of her: full and bright and tall.
one of my aunts, one of my mother's sisters, had a heart attack and, though she is okay, it shakes us all so violently and the recent death we've all just seen comes flying up to face us again. we all become the mirror of it. we all walk around, mirrors on legs, shining the horror of it, the quickness and inexplicability of this damn life. too motherfucking short. should i be thankful to have learned this so early in life? or waste even more time than i already have on feeling cheated?
i make the sweaters. i work them like diaries. twist twist knot and turn. you will all at least have these peculiar objects to snuggle in and warm yourselves with when my day finally comes and i am gone. the sweaters and every image and every word i can muster. everything.
one of my aunts, one of my mother's sisters, had a heart attack and, though she is okay, it shakes us all so violently and the recent death we've all just seen comes flying up to face us again. we all become the mirror of it. we all walk around, mirrors on legs, shining the horror of it, the quickness and inexplicability of this damn life. too motherfucking short. should i be thankful to have learned this so early in life? or waste even more time than i already have on feeling cheated?
i make the sweaters. i work them like diaries. twist twist knot and turn. you will all at least have these peculiar objects to snuggle in and warm yourselves with when my day finally comes and i am gone. the sweaters and every image and every word i can muster. everything.
Jun 11, 2011
Jun 10, 2011
Jun 9, 2011
Jun 8, 2011
Alpha
.
Alpha
51" x 39"
graphite on paper
angela simione, 2011
this piece was commissioned by someone i know and love and respect so so so much! single handedly the best commission i've ever done, both in terms of subject and experience. elsie, our beloved. a strange angel that hovers around our heads and homes and lives. i feel connected to her in a way that i do not have the language with which to name. but the poet who commissioned this portrait does and i am excited for the fields of tall grass she swirls up, in line and breath, for us to hide and seek in. perfect.
Alpha
51" x 39"
graphite on paper
angela simione, 2011
this piece was commissioned by someone i know and love and respect so so so much! single handedly the best commission i've ever done, both in terms of subject and experience. elsie, our beloved. a strange angel that hovers around our heads and homes and lives. i feel connected to her in a way that i do not have the language with which to name. but the poet who commissioned this portrait does and i am excited for the fields of tall grass she swirls up, in line and breath, for us to hide and seek in. perfect.
Jun 7, 2011
return
ahhhh...
i love it here. LOVE!
we are by no means settled in in regards to books being in the case and paintings hung on the wall (there are boxes everywhere), but my heart and brain has settled in swiftly. the switch was flipped instantly. as soon as i stepped across the threshold here i was at home and it felt as if the last 3 years in the country were only a dream, never happened at all. it feels like no time has passed since i last lived in this city.
yesterday, i began my new job hunt and am keeping my focus limited to jobs i actually want and feel inspired to try for. i went driving around this morning to drop off a few resumes and locate the closest Bart Station. I also realized that the first tuesday of the month is free admission day at SFMOMA so that's where i'll be hustling off to next. :)
i can't tell you how excited, relieved, hopeful, ecstatic, motivated, inspired, and happy i am to be back in the east bay. a tremendous sense of possibility greets me each morning and i feel so thoroughly hopeful. it makes me aware that i am still young and still strong. it's a very good feeling. there's been far too much despair the last few years. and though i agree that there are definite benefits from having experienced despair and surviving the torture of it, it feels damn good to be on the other side of it today.
there's so much to catch y'all up but i don't know how or where to begin. maybe all the back-tracking is unnecessary anyway. Here and Now is so good and bright! all i want to do is be outside. i just want to walk up and down the avenues of my hilly neighborhood and see all there is to see. it renews me to see the skyline of downtown oakland and san francisco. a new life must be built and i am so excited to have the opportunity to do so.
i love it here. LOVE!
we are by no means settled in in regards to books being in the case and paintings hung on the wall (there are boxes everywhere), but my heart and brain has settled in swiftly. the switch was flipped instantly. as soon as i stepped across the threshold here i was at home and it felt as if the last 3 years in the country were only a dream, never happened at all. it feels like no time has passed since i last lived in this city.
yesterday, i began my new job hunt and am keeping my focus limited to jobs i actually want and feel inspired to try for. i went driving around this morning to drop off a few resumes and locate the closest Bart Station. I also realized that the first tuesday of the month is free admission day at SFMOMA so that's where i'll be hustling off to next. :)
i can't tell you how excited, relieved, hopeful, ecstatic, motivated, inspired, and happy i am to be back in the east bay. a tremendous sense of possibility greets me each morning and i feel so thoroughly hopeful. it makes me aware that i am still young and still strong. it's a very good feeling. there's been far too much despair the last few years. and though i agree that there are definite benefits from having experienced despair and surviving the torture of it, it feels damn good to be on the other side of it today.
there's so much to catch y'all up but i don't know how or where to begin. maybe all the back-tracking is unnecessary anyway. Here and Now is so good and bright! all i want to do is be outside. i just want to walk up and down the avenues of my hilly neighborhood and see all there is to see. it renews me to see the skyline of downtown oakland and san francisco. a new life must be built and i am so excited to have the opportunity to do so.
Jun 3, 2011
stand by
moving. hang tight. here's a sweet little shout out our show got over at Hi-Fructose. YAY!!!!
Jun 1, 2011
in case you missed it...
the show at Project One:
yours truly (reflection and art) :)
angela simione
angela simione
angela simione
charmaine olivia
charmaine olivia and angela simione
megan wolfe
chelsea brown
the show runs for 2 more weeks so if you're in the neighborhood (or close to it) please go see!!!!
yours truly (reflection and art) :)
angela simione
angela simione
angela simione
charmaine olivia
charmaine olivia and angela simione
megan wolfe
chelsea brown
the show runs for 2 more weeks so if you're in the neighborhood (or close to it) please go see!!!!
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