3 days

yesterday morning, before leaving to go watch the gallery, i bought my plane ticket. i have 3 days to wait. 3 days to get as much work finished as i can before going to tennessee to see my mom. it is down to that. this is not a freak-out. it's time. and i can't tell you how bad and sick my heart feels. it's hard to do anything. but i feel so much lighter since buying the ticket and making a plan. in 3 days i can hold her. 3 days. 3 days.

i'll be gone about a week and will spend as much time hugging her and looking at her as i can.

i have buried myself in books and crochet. i am making red roses this time. blood roses maybe. i don't know what they are or what to call them just yet... only that they save me. they hold me together. red roses twisted between my fingers and the novels of Jean Rhys digested one after the other. i'm on 'Quartet' now.

a boy came in the gallery yesterday and spent a long time staring at the Worry Roses. he was maybe 20 or 21. i didn't interrupt him. he pulled a small notepad out of his bag and copied down the information about the piece from the tag on the wall. after awhile, i asked him if he had any questions and he came and sat by me in the enormous window at the front of the gallery. he started talking about the roses and choked on his words when he said: that piece... standing in front of it, i just got so sad. could you tell me about it? his eyes seemed wet and i was so struck by his emotion. a total stranger. what a huge gift that was for me. tremendous.

we sat in the window and talked for about 10 minutes and then he was on his way. we shook hands and smiled at each other. it was a very lucky moment.




Worry Roses (for my mother, for myself)
dimensions variable
300 crochet units
2010


detail


it's weird... the piece doesn't photograph well. it looks so small in these pictures but in real life it's huge. it's enveloping. a big embrace.