these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.

my artist website is here.

Dec 22, 2010

i am smiling at you.

work work work work work. and with it, a return to my true self. an embrace of a previous piece. something i lost or was stolen or slipped away without my notice or was just plain ol' beat the fuck out of me during the passed few rough years. because haven't the passed few years been exceptionally rough for all of us? it sure seems like it. and there was some damage to acquire and then some damage to repair... and now, such a deep, soothing sigh in my day. and elation! i wake up and make myself a super hot english breakfast tea and head back to bed with my notebook. i wake up early just to luxuriate in the divinity of The Long Morning. i write and write and write.

there, on the page, is where i catch myself. it is where i create myself. those crisp blue lines have held me for years. ever since i learned to write. and even before that! as a very small child i use to scribble loops across the lines of my father's yellow legal pads. i'd pretend i was writing a magnificent novel. i'd daydream of waterfalls and falling stars and all those romantic things children daydream about as i scribbled my way across line after line, page after page.

paper is my birth place. it is my origin. and so i minimize the role The Long Morning plays by calling it a luxury. it is, in fact, a necessity. i need it and appreciate in ways i cannot even begin to describe. it is one of the few things i can simply not go without at this point in my life. and now, this season of busy labor and steep activity finds me, but i have not lost the pleasure/necessity of The Long Morning. i make time for it. always. i wake up as early as i need to. and that's where i am on days when i have nothing to say publicly here. on days when i put up a photo or video, know that i am still smiling at you and that these images are themselves an extension of my exploration. this Return i am experiencing... this Renewal (?????) is full of unknown corners and foreign sounds, songs, images, whispers, echos. my fingers are flying across pages and strings of yarn and sticks of graphite. i feel like i am in love with so many things. ecstatic and curious and unapologetic. it feels so damn good- this high level of freedom inside my practice. scribbling my way toward something better than what i've had. maybe... better than what i've allowed myself?

busy is good. i find a piece of myself that i haven't had in years. like a hug from an old friend, i rush toward this Return, this girl, this life. this! this! this!


Elisabeth said...

Busy is good, Angela, though not too busy, not too busy to have time to think, which clearly you talk about here, that wonderful early morning time, time to think and to write.

Lovely images here, Angela, especially the one of you as a child scribbling on your father's yellow legal pads.

You've been at your craft for a long time. Thanks and greetings for the season.

Vespersparrow said...

What a lovely, enthusiastic picture you've drawn--and oh, to be in love with everything--hang onto that wondrous state. Wonderful picture of you in your Long Morning. Cheered me up immeasurably. Best for the season.

angela simione said...

elisabeth, thank you so much for sticking through all the transitions the passed few months. i have become inconsistent here in some ways (which is really just a particular growing pain as i move forward) and i'm so thankful you return. i love your insights and encouragements. they are gems to me. warm wishes for you and your family, elsiabeth, and big dreams for the new year! and plenty of time to think and write in bed! :)

angela simione said...

verspersparrow, hello and welcome! and thank you so much! yes, it has been such a long time it seems since i have felt in love with everything. i recognized the feeling late last night as i drove home fom work- this coming in to one's own and feeling like you are walking the exactly right path. i will hold on to it with both hands as tight as i can. :)

all my best to you! thank you!