these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.


my artist website is here.

Aug 26, 2010

.


ever a new name






if i had been Perfect at birth, i don't remember it.
soap
in my slithering eyes.
or:
soap in my slither-eye.

how opposite of Beautiful.


i have eaten cotton candy
and made my Red-Work angry.
i have been afraid of your desires.
(because they are not like mine)
i have been afraid of my own desires.


don't tell me anything.

don't tell me there is a spider on my earlobe.


capitulating,
faltering grace.
the severity of my body.
and the potential.

poor baby, poor baby.
don't tell me anything.
finding safe hiding places is hard enough. and
a steady black. black cloud of starling. spite
the wintertime. the little lamb's
delicate eye.

i am cupped in her full blue skirt.
the unexpected
walked-through spiderweb.

FUCKING BITCH I HATE YOU
EVERYBODY HATES YOU
and i always believe it
at least a little bit
when someone says something like that.

if i had been Perfect at my birth.

cracked actress. poor baby.
a knot of opposite interests. the ghosts
of so many school girls. heavier now, carrying such hearts.

the sadness and the smells. i lumber
under a vocabulary culled
from dragging silence.

my remembering happened much later.

and what i have done.

6 comments:

Elisabeth said...

This is such a powerful poem, filled with resonance. The lines 'a vocabulary culled/ from dragging silence' are exquisite. To me they say so much.

angela simione said...

elisabeth, thank you! i wrote this just today all in one hot burst. sometimes the tempo of a day is just right. and very unexpected. :) thank you so much for reading it and responding to it.

i feel that particular vocabulary is shared between us. autobiography, deep longing, and the shaking off of silences.

but maybe silence trains the ear? and heart too.

Hannah Stephenson said...

I like the unexpected fury planted smack dab in the middle. And the spider on the earlobe is staying with me...

Your voice carries, regardless of medium.

yolanda said...

wow!!!!
it reminds me when my niece sara was born.

so powerful!!!
this is great, angela!!!!!

love to you!!!!
yolanda

angela simione said...

hannah, thank you so much! i am trying to get better at this and your encouragement gives me courage for the chase. :) it has become so so SO important to me to be good at this poetry thing... whatever thet means. or might end up meaning. <3

angela simione said...

yolanda! thank you! and love to YOU, sweet girl! :)