these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.


my artist website is here.

Jun 1, 2010

repair

i am still thinking of louise bourgeois. i have become warm and still, comforted by her face, her smile, and the awesome fortitude and courage she showcased in her work and life. i think of the fact she was 70 before critical attention and acclaim found her. late recognition but she kept going going going and, by the time her due came, it was beyond earned, beyond deserved, and her fire was charged, endless, heartbreaking, and something so tremendously special that our language has not yet birthed words to describe.

my tribute today is that i will not beat myself up with the things i have yet to accomplish. i will enjoy the pace of this day. i will draw and be present and not torture myself with worry and fear and uncertainty, those assassins of aspiration and joy. i will relish in the fact that my hands are black with graphite. that my scent is covered by the dust of the pencil. that the scribbles and scratches have meaning.

her work is here.
the comfort of it.
she left us with such a strong, capable cradle.

i am drawing a huge spider today. all day. for her. for myself.

4 comments:

Marta Sanchez said...

Nice. I am looking at what I have in my life today instead of what I don't have/lost.

Anonymous said...

Louise Bourgeois will be sorely missed in the art community and beyond. I found a quote this morning in an article about her passing. Here she described her work: "My art is about seduction and rejection. It's about flirtation and frustration. It's about desire and anger, anxiety and fear. There is abandonment and there is violence." Bourgeois occupied a unique and much coveted position in the art world by maintaining both popularity and respect because she was simultaneously famous and obscure. Most artists want some level success and recognition but, again most, don’t want to be considered “sell-outs” or someone who has lost touch with their humble beginnings. Bourgeois nailed this. Plus, as you pointed out, she didn’t find her success until much later in life. I find her be a huge inspiration to women as well to artists . And, me being both, I greatly admire her courage, perseverance, and delicate femininity.

angela simione said...

marta- YES! YES! YES!!!! it is hard, but that is the way to live! :)

angela simione said...

anonymous, thank you so much for your comment. more and more, i see the value in taking it one step, one day, one drawing at a time... to not rush ahead, to let the "career" be long. it is a life's work, after all. and louise bourgeois is such a healthy and beautiful reminder of this: to not be daunted or thwarted or unhinged by what may *seem* like a lack of accollade or respect. she lived with such a wealth of integrity and a huge helping of the only respect that really mattered- her own. i share the inspiration and admiration you feel. it gives me a wonderful permission to simply ENJOY this strange road. to find the hefty confidence that gives way to humility and patience.

:)