these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.

my artist website is here.

Jun 4, 2010

pity party in the bathroom

the little girl voice begins its refrain:
i just want everything to be okay.

on and on and i get sick.
the endless list of I deserve
tacked like a cataract to the insipid eye.
the stupid face
in the stupid mirror
in the goddamn bathroom
in the goddamn half-light.

the mirror is Collapse.
the sour shine of ridiculous dreams.
the little girl
tight, red faced,
to the shangri la of the un-had.

she begs: stick a diamond on me
so i'll know which one i am.

but the diamond fell.
went down the toilet tubes. my arm
went in after it, got stuck
in the stinking hole.

and ever since, just shit

glittering in my eye lashes,
freckled across my nose.

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