these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.

my artist website is here.

May 27, 2010

plodding along

the painting i'm working on is kicking my ass all over the place! yesterday and today.

the rain is coming down HARD and so i am locked inside, no jog, forced to sit and stare and figure this piece out. so that's a positive, i guess. the grind, the fight, learning how to slow down and not jump ahead, not rely on tricks, just sit with the work and wait for it to start talking back. and the really good thing about this is that it supplies a learning curve- all this exploration leads to depth and layers of meaning (as well as paint). and the further i go, the deeper i get. the work has really started taking off this year, and i try to keep sight of that fact on days like today where i'm fighting for sense and finesse. in some ways, i've gone full circle to where i was when i was first working with jon benet's image and thinking about what images can do, how paintings can function. it's a crazy ride. some days, all i can do is hang on. some days, "the work" is somehow finding a way to extend a bit of patience to yourself.


Anonymous said...

i understand you. utterly!!

oh i hate when they say that painting is like giving birth to a baby. lol. really, i don´t know why i write to you this silly thing---

and when you can´t get out for a walk but stay locked in your room...
oh, i can relate.

cheer up! everything is ok!!

Elisabeth said...

Keep on trying, remember.

I can talk. I write this to you even at a point in time when I feel like giving up.

The blogosphere that is. Sometimes it feels too disturbing. Too many people, too many conflicting views, too much pontificating.

It makes my head hurt. I suspect you understand, Angela, doubter and confused post modernist rambler that you are.

angela simione said...

hi yolanda! thank you! some days painting is so hard... and the rain. but today, the sun is up and shining. i will get out for a jog and then head back to the canvas.

you are right: everything is okay. :)

angela simione said...

elisabeth, i DO understand. the blogospere seems to have taken a very odd turn recently... or maybe i'm only now tuning in to it. there seems to be a very malicious sarcasm sweeping through. a lot of agression. it is WEIRD. and needless. and, i think, totally unacceptable behavior. it's strange to me how lots of people tend to equate meanness with honesty.

hang in there, sweet woman. you are doing wonderfully well and are a huge inspiration. we can build each other up in these moments of defeat.