love

in spite of the hardships that have come, in spite of the hardships that remain, in spite of loneliness, heartache, distance, collapse, hopelessness, frailty, and pathetic groveling, i have never, not once, regret the decision to be an artist. it is the one thing in my life that has been consistently available, open, and welcoming. if it be a picture in a book or a simple, lucky photograph or a blog or a heartfelt word that floated in to my ear at exactly the right time, i love it all and remain forever faithful. i stumble and i cry sometimes. i yell and feel a failure sometimes. i go to the page or the canvas in those moments especially, and find myself there all over again: not only worthy, but privileged, to paint and read and write and think.