happiness is adrenaline

i have a dentist appointment later this morning and then all sorts of running around to do afterward. businessy type things that get my adrenaline moving. it is the business end of this business that lights a fire under my ass in a way that i absolutely appreciate. and tomorrow it will be the same- dropping off 5 of the recent pieces to the gallery :)

having an out-side schedule is a wonderful thing. left to my own devices, which is usually the case, i judge myself too harshly. i think that i'm not doing enough and that, what i have done, is total shit. isn't that just the way it goes. shooooot. ;) but then the business end of things decides it needs attention and it gets me out of my own head to a place where i can see things a bit more clearly, a bit more accurately. a place where i can see i'm not all bad, that every now and then i find myself with a reason to give myself at least a small pat on the back. and so i'm grateful for it.

i'm just at the beginning, poverty stricken and wondering what to do next, and these confirmations arrive that give me the boost i need right when i need it most. and also, this blog. this weird digital land. i get such encouragement and a spreading warmth the longer i maintain this space. i'm just so welled up with gratitude this morning. i'm thankful for everyone who comes here, everyone who gives me a smile and a nod and says 'you're doing alright, kid". so so so thankful. :)