i need to make myself a pair of mittens. the cold actually hurt me this morning when i went outside to write. in fact, i couldn't stay outside on my little stoop in front of the cottage for more than 5 minutes. and for that 5 minutes, i traded my cup of coffee back and forth between my two hands to warm them up and thaw the hurt. a hard winter has come. i knew it would. and if it's this cold at the beginning of december, january will be a horror.
yesterday after a good couple of hours painting, i rearranged the living room to use an entire wall for the maid portraits. i've got them all together and they look so beautiful. i'm seeing them with fresh eyes. even the problem child of the group (and there's always a problem child) is gorgeous and i can see the direction i must take her in. it feels good to be listening again. to work. it's the moment when i am truly myself. freedom. and love. and i wouldn't trade this job for any other. no amount of money or prestige or possession will ever seem as beautiful, as necessary as this work. nothing could lure me away. this is my life. and it's all i want.
these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.
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