be good.

drizzle drizzle drizzle and inga is sleeping in our bed. worn out little hound, looking for a place to hide, made uncomfortable and cranky by her heat. poor little thing. she comes up and presses her big soft head in to my stomach looking for comfort. i can hear her voice in my head, "mama, make it go away".

i woke thinking of my own mama... her big forest all frozen and the deer and the birds and roses that they ate. and here, the rain keeps on coming down.

all i can think about lately is painting. "keep painting. just keep painting" is what i tell myself. not that it'll change anything for my family... but i want her to see them all. they're all locked up in me right now and i want to get them out so she can see them, so she can see me be good, be honest, be hopeful.

i'll finally get around to setting up the tiny room off the kitchen today. my cramped winter studio. i'll open the curtains and chase off the yellow light. keep painting. just keep painting. be good. be good. be good.