these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.


my artist website is here.

Aug 12, 2009

blah. blarf. arg.

2 in the afternoon and still drinking coffee. it makes the afternoon hotter but putting my cup away is not an option. i've managed to grow a pretty large caffeine addiction at this point that i should probably start reining in but it's just so good and tasty! :) i wake up happy everyday because it means i get to have coffee.

and in spite of that initial happiness, i've been a bit depressed lately. maybe because my birthday is around the corner. i always start analyzing my life and picking it apart, scrutinizing every little thing around my birthday. i stare at my life and site all the things that i want to change and start putting together a plan of action for how to get where i want to go next. i do this on new year's eve too. not the happiest of rituals but at least it gets me to think about goals and desires and ways of living... what kind of life i want to build for myself. so many wonderful things have come in to my life in the past year and so many things to be grateful for, to be humbled by, to protect and fight for. 28 has been a lucky year. the anxiety about 29 is senseless... just a bad habit that i should learn to shake. it's almost like when you turn 20 and there's really no point in any fanfare because you're still one short year away from 21. 29 feels like that. let me just hit 30 so i can call myself a legitimate adult already. ha!

4 comments:

amy said...

totally understand. birthdays bring shite up. as rainer marie rilke says, live the questions.."And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."
i like that.

angela simione said...

oh, thank you for this amy! i'm going to have to write this down and stick it in between the pages of books and at the bottom of boxes and inside the medicine cabinet so that i come across this quote unexpectedly, long after i've forgotten it, stumbling across it at the exact right moment, exactly when i need to hear it... just like how it happened today. :) thank you.

Heather Jerdee said...

I'll be back to read your blog :) That is a awesome quote up there too by the way buttt I just voted for your Damaged Daughters print on Etsy for what would you hang on your wall :) Whoot girl!!!

angela simione said...

yay!!!! thanks heather! i was so surprised by the nomination. win or lose, it sure did put a bounce in my step. i love surprises!