trying to fend it off...

i've been feeling more and more restless lately...
it's probably the summer heat.

i always thought that seasonal depression was pretty much a winter affliction but i'm starting to think i've been wrong about that. thinking back, i was pretty much always depressed when i lived in southern california. the drain of 6 months of 100+ degree heat definitely took its toll. day after day of lethargic, unenthusiastic HOT does not do a body good. NOT. and so that's probably where this weird restlessness is coming from...

we'll see.

but the major culprit: i think i need a friend. all my really, really good friends live pretty far away. the nearest one is an hour and a half drive from here. that's not exactly a winning combination. the few friends i've managed to make during the past year or so here in wine-land are fun, good-hearted people but they don't really care about art like i do... i generally do most of the talking in those conversations (if we even discuss it at all). they're also all married with children- something i know nothing about and don't plan on knowing about for quite some time either. i'm on a completely different path, full of completely different interests and ethics, and it gets to be a bit lonely to say it plainly. where are all the almost 30, unmarried, childless, artist females? ha! is that a tall order? am i an anomaly? okay... what about any artist female, any age, but who isn't going to make me stare at her kid with her or put me in the middle of fights between her and her husband? any of those in the world? how 'bout a female artist, any age, divorced, and whose kids are grown and gone? there's GOT to be a few of those out there. got to be!

women need other women. it's a fact. i guess i'm just feeling a little homesick for my old circle... i miss all that laughter.