these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.

my artist website is here.

Jun 25, 2009

straight to work, straight to dreaming...

it's just passed 9am and my hands are already stained with my precious black. oil everywhere, oil as far as i can see and the smell is in my hair and in my skin and on the thighs of my jeans and i am happy in spite of the overcast weather.

you'd think i'd like grey days but i don't. i like sunshine and bright light and warmth. one of the worst things i can be is cold. i hate being cold. once that happens, it takes so long for me to thaw back out. cold is PAIN and that's something i can definitely do without. that's probably the big reason why i love california. it never gets too cold to move and we don't have to wear ski-masks to go to the grocery store in winter.

i saw a photo once of people on the street in new york during winter-time and i was horrified. ski-masks and 3 coats and 6 scarves and humongous gloves. it must take 20 minutes (at least!) to put all that on, and again to take it all off once you get where you're going. but i'm sure it's worth it- to live in new york, i'd make the trade and suffer the unbelievable cold in spite of my hatred for it. it's new york, after all, and i'm still wrapped up in all my romantic fantasies about the place. one day i'll get there and i'll probably get yanked down off my cloud but until then i'll remain satisfied with my idealistic dreams and cling to them as hard as i can. those dreams are what keep me moving sometimes, keep me from feeling beaten down and fed-up.

but lately, i've not lost anytime to fantasy and dreams of far-away places- i've got goals here that are so close that i can't stop stretching my arm out toward them. each day i get a bit closer. the 10-hour painting day is an amazing thing. amazing. i feel better about my life and where i'm at and where i'm going than i have in awhile. maybe the sting of 2008 has finally worn off.


C. L. DeMedeiros said...

Super Intense stuff



angela simione said...

thanks carlos! and welcome to the shape of secrets!

- i really like the "American" sculpture. wonderful!

sMacThoughts said...

Ohhh, the NYC cold is wonderful...ya gotta go all bundled up, but then you arrive to a tiny historic coffee shop with foggy windows, and sit with a good sketchbook or something to read, thawing out with steaming hot coffee and something to eat as you watch the cold outside. I love to walk around in the cold for how wonderful it is to stop in the warmth matter where that may be. It's invigorating; and it's NYC!

angela simione said...

oh man, i knew it! i can't wait to walk around there! some day soon, i hope. i've heard that people fall in love with that city hard and fast and never want to leave.

Joetta M. said...

the cold lets you hovel up and be in your own sweet little home amongst millions...the cold ears and noses remind you why you love warmth.
the ice skating reminds you of being a child.
the hot chocolate burns your tongue.
it is so worth it.

when you come visit in the future save a date for me...

angela simione said...

i can't wait to go! i will definitely let you know! yay! i will need a tour-guide for sure and someone to lean against in the winter months. :)