bookish and hopeful...

heather left a few hours ago. she came up for a quick little holiday. we had our coffee fueled slumber party and talked about poetry. i read her one of the poems i've been working on for the last few weeks and i was so happy she liked it. she also helped me identify that i'm getting really ahead of myself by even wondering what "the public" would think of them. i shouldn't be thinking about that end of things at all, at least not at the stage i'm at.

all i need to be concerned with at this point is doing the work itself, learning this craft, and trying my hardest to give the poems the patience and time they require. so that's what i'm gonna do. i'm so interested in poetry and in utilizing it somehow in my larger art practice that i really do need to just calm down and do the work. it's such a wonderful art form and i'd love to be good at it. sometimes, my impatience runs away with me because i want to be good at it RIGHT NOW; but then i remember the long years i spent making paintings i could hardly stand to look at and i realize that it's gonna take time and it's gonna take a diligent, focused, concern on my part to get the work to a place that i can feel proud of. i only started making paintings that i actually liked about 3 years ago. until that point, i honestly couldn't stand my own work. but you guys have already heard that story. anyway, the point is i need to relax and just enjoy the learning process and, to an extent, be a romantic about it: write for myself alone. and i like that idea.

heather helped a lot and i so enjoy our visits together. she's the only friend i've got that has a larger than average appreciation for poetry and it's wonderful to have someone to talk with about poetry-related concerns. plus, she writes too and our visits have a definite workshop component that is so helpful to both of us. it's good to have this with another person.

we also went on a drive to explore the city and found a new used bookstore. i spend way more money than i intended to but i got some great stuff. the book i'm most excited about diving in to is Angela Carter's The Magic Toyshop. i've been in the mood for something more macabre these days and haven't been able to find a book that satisfies that desire. heather said this book should do the trick and smiled wide: a very good sign. :)

she also spent more money than she wanted to but at least it went to books. it's always been pretty hard for me to feel bad about spending money on them (sorry sweetie). i've long since outgrown my two huge bookcases and don't have the space right now for a third. i have small piles of books cropping up around my bed and in my studio but i can't say that i really mind. just being around books make me one happy girl. i was born with a hopelessly romantic fascination with books and words and records and writing. i can't help it. i love all things literary. not the worst attraction one could have, right?

and in art news, tomorrow is 'reception night' in San Francisco. i will definitely be making the rounds, looking at all the new work and drinking wine. my buddy eddie is my date so i'm sure once we get to our second glass, we'll be fluent in art speak and snobbing it up for all the eavesdroppers. i'll apologize now for all the jargon you may in fact be subjected too if you stumble across us. ha! but i hope everyone will be making the rounds tomorrow night as well. it's just such an important and thoughtful thing to do to show some support for your local art community... and we artists really appreciate it too.