these texts are an archive of my life in the San Francisco Bay Area from march 2007 - march 2015. it stands as a record of close to a decade of my life, charting the struggles i faced as an artist, daughter, and lover. messy and chaotic at times, eloquent and poetic at others, these texts are an index i am proud of. it was here in this electric box that i learned how to be honest about my experiences and the person i needed to become. it was here that i first learned the truism that words make the world and how to trust such a beautiful, rife, hard fact.

thank you for meeting me here in such tall grass.


my artist website is here.

Aug 12, 2007

ostriches are the best models...


The ostrich is the perfect subject for a painting. They’re tall, somewhat mysterious creatures that are just ugly enough to be interesting… just like most models. Unlike most models, they’re misunderstood.
Common knowledge would have us believe that they’re stupid. And maybe they are. It is in fact true that they have painfully tiny brains. However, that’s not why they’re believed to be an idiot bird. Most people believe that when an ostrich is threatened by a predator it is so scared that it sticks its head in the sand in an attempt to hide.
When I was as a child, I’d close my eyes when I got scared. I believed that if I couldn’t see what I was afraid of, it couldn’t see me either. I became invisible… not even God could see me.
Well, that isn’t what the ostrich is doing. If it was, they’d all be dead. The father ostrich is digging a hole for the mother ostrich’s eggs. They’re protecting they’re young.
Misunderstood. Not stupid.
I’m almost 27 and i'm still closing my eyes, shutting them tight against all the scary things that I don’t want to see and all the things and people that I don’t want to see me…




36" x 48", oil on canvas 2007

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The more I look at this one, I love it more and more. To the point of wanting to buy it for myself.

Anonymous said...

The more I look at this one, I love it more and more. To the point of wanting to buy it for myself.